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Post by Silver Eyes on Feb 23, 2012 20:10:19 GMT -6
Drat. You exposed my plan. I'll have to think of something else  |
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Post by Ayen on Feb 28, 2012 9:12:16 GMT -6
#151: How to kill a Vampire
Sazan: Cut off his head and impale it to the wall.
Zira Firestone: BURN HIM ALIVE!
Amoura: Stab him in the face!
Sparda: What is it with you and stabbing things?
Amoura: Stab all the things!
Everyone: Gabble, gabble, gabble, gabble!
Kragen: Um... can't we just...
Everyone: Gabble, gabble, gabble!
Kragen: Can't we just---
Everyone: Gabble, gabble!
Kragen: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Everyone: O________O
Kragen: There, that's better. Can't we just drain him of all his blood?
Everyone: o.o
Zira Firestone: Th-that would work. I even know who to call too.
Moments Later
Fukari: This is Traps R Us, Fukari speaking. Yeah I have something that would drain a person of their blood--- Oh hold on I have a call on the other line. *change lines* This is Traps R Us, Fukari speaking.
Maricul: Yes, do you have anything in bondage?
Fukari: STOP FUCKING CALLING!
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Post by Ayen on Apr 20, 2012 22:28:32 GMT -6
#152: The Climb
Chloe: Empress Chloe is climbing a tower, why is she climbing a tower? Empress Chloe is climbing a tower, why is she climbing a tower? To hug the tower. To envelope... that tower. Hug the tower. To envelope... that tower. Hug the tower. That tower - that tower. She wants to make love to the tower.
Tajna Rasha: ...
Chloe: Tough young women singing with bodies in their... eh... Fingers and teeny toes. Challenge the stone, challenging DEATH! Why do I climb the tower? Because I'm in love.
Tajna Rasha: ...
Chloe: And the climb is going where no one has gone before.
Tajna Rasha: Infinity is too long for this shit.
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Alex
Time Lord
Posts: 327
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Post by Alex on Apr 20, 2012 22:36:55 GMT -6
Fascinating.
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Post by Chloe/Kat on Apr 21, 2012 14:29:13 GMT -6
I hate you.
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Post by Ayen on Apr 22, 2012 5:58:40 GMT -6
#153: Children
Zora C. Manson: Hi. My name is-
Kragen: Freeze! *aim weapon at the child*
Zora C. Manson: Meep!
Red: Hi. My name is-
Kragen: Freeze! *aim weapon at the child*
Red: Meep!
Garrus Vakarian: Dammit, Kragen! Why do you always have to point your gun at children?
Kragen: My gun fires on all without distinction!
The Genius: Beep! Beep! *zips by and slice open Kragen's kneecaps*
Kragen: *screams in pain and falls to the ground* Garrus, for the love of God help me!
Garrus Vakarian: Can it wait a minute? I'm in the middle of some calibrations...
Kragen: We're outside!
Garrus Vakarian: I know I just don't give a shit.
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Post by Kragen on Apr 22, 2012 19:12:52 GMT -6
I always knew there was a double meaning to that line.
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Post by Garrus Vakarian on Apr 22, 2012 23:14:36 GMT -6
lol, child abuse.  |
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Tajna Rasha
Wraith
Founder of the DOA Wiki
The Ghost of Legion
Posts: 85 
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Post by Tajna Rasha on Apr 22, 2012 23:21:03 GMT -6
#151: How to kill a VampireSazan: Cut off his head and impale it to the wall. Zira Firestone: BURN HIM ALIVE! Amoura: Stab him in the face! Sparda: What is it with you and stabbing things? Amoura: Stab all the things! Everyone: Gabble, gabble, gabble, gabble! Kragen: Um... can't we just... Everyone: Gabble, gabble, gabble! Kragen: Can't we just--- Everyone: Gabble, gabble! Kragen: SHUT THE HELL UP! Everyone: O________O Kragen: There, that's better. Can't we just drain him of all his blood? Everyone: o.o Zira Firestone: Th-that would work. I even know who to call too. Moments LaterFukari: This is Traps R Us, Fukari speaking. Yeah I have something that would drain a person of their blood--- Oh hold on I have a call on the other line. *change lines* This is Traps R Us, Fukari speaking. Maricul: Yes, do you have anything in bondage? Fukari: STOP FUCKING CALLING! I have the biggest gutter-mind to actually have an idea of what sort of item Maricul would buy at a store called Traps R Us. Oh god the imagery. |
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Post by Ayen on Apr 23, 2012 11:04:38 GMT -6
#154: Dismissed
Tajna Rasha: Your hypocrisy is truly boundless.
Maricul: We do not recognize the Ghost of Legion as a dominant power in this new world.
Maya: Councilor Rasha, what a pleasant surprise.
Maricul: Maya, no!
Tajna Rasha: Ah yes, "Maricul"; the vampire seductress who allegedly lure in young men and women and has sex with them before drinking their blood. We have dismissed that claim.
Maricul: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *cease to exist*
Maya: But if Maricul never existed then that means- *also cease to exist*
Sparda: Praise The Creator, that bitch is dead!
Tajna Rasha: Ah yes, "The Creator"; the omnipotent being which allegedly all life was created from. We have dismissed that claim.
Sparda: !?
*all of existence cease to exist*
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Tajna Rasha
Wraith
Founder of the DOA Wiki
The Ghost of Legion
Posts: 85
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Post by Tajna Rasha on May 2, 2012 21:47:38 GMT -6
That joke's going to get used in-rp at some point XD
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Post by Ayen on May 6, 2012 15:54:53 GMT -6
#155: ChocolateUtena: OMG Deadpool look out! Deadpool: What? Utena: Run! Run! Deadpool: Run for what? *Deadpool turns around just in time to see...*  Deadpool: The fuck? Pool-O-Vision Veran: Chocolate is what it demands for the cleansing of its world! Deadpool: *holds up his chocolate bar* Hmm... Chocolate or the world? Pool-O-Vision Veran: ... Deadpool: Chocolate. The world. Chocolate... The world... Pool-O-Vision Veran: ... Utena: Oh for the love of God just give him the chocolate! Deadpool: I guess I have no choice.  Deadpool: Worth it.
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Post by Ayen on Jun 6, 2012 8:01:58 GMT -6
156: BroLori: *holding dead mother in her arms* Mommy! I-I don't know what I'm doing with my life!  *sound of a jet falling catches her attention* Lori: What's that noise? Arix: Bow Chicka Wow Wow! *stops the jet* Lori: What a hunky guy! <3 Ayen: I don't see what's so special about him... Later that nightGeneral Vulture: Come at me, bro! Arix: Calm down, bro. Spokesman of Insanity: Calm down. You're full on mad, bro. General Vulture: I'll show you full on mad! Charge! *charges Arix* The next morningGeneral Vulture: *in a full body cast* Ayanna Kaktas: What happened? Drake White: He went full retard. Never go full retard.
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Post by Ayen on Jun 18, 2012 8:47:16 GMT -6
#157: Confrontation!
Sparda: Yahweh, how do you answer for the countless number of crimes committed on Genesis in your name!?
Lord Yahweh: I don't have to answer to you, I was an omnipotent being for ten thousand years. Before that I defeated Vlad Tepes and his armies; I took on the most powerful warriors of the Lin Kuei! And let's not forget that I created the Arashi. Out of my ass.
Sparda: I was just about to get to th--- wait, what?
Lord Yahweh: That's right; Veran, Aper, Eos, they all came straight out of my ass. I define the phrase 'pulling it out of your ass.' I have more power in my ass than you have in your ENTIRE waking body.
Sparda: If you were an omnipotent being why didn't you pick an easier method of creating the Arashi?
Lord Yahweh: Because you touch yourself at night.
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Post by Sparda on Jun 18, 2012 8:52:17 GMT -6
See that? That shit is inevitable.
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