Away From Keyboard

[Silver Eyes]

"Wait, you took bets on what?

Maggie (friend of mine): Hey, Ginny!

Me: Hey, Maggie!

Maggie: So, uh, Ginny. Got something to tell you.

Me: Okay...?

Maggie: Most of the table decided to take bets on who would bed you first, but we all lost since you slept with Jeff instead.

Me: *blinks for a few moments, confused as to what she just heard* You...took bets...on who would sleep with me first?

Maggie: Yep! And we all lost!

Me: Why the fuck would you take bets on that of all things?

Maggie: Because we're a weird bunch of mother fuckers.

Me: ...that...would make sense...yeah...

[Silver Eyes]

Made of Wood

Maggie: *uses her toy sonic screwdriver on a friend named Matt* IT'S MADE OF WOOD!

Sarah: Well, yes Maggie, it's called a penis.

Everyone: LOL

Me: ...*Facedesk*