Post by Ayen on Sept 11, 2011 0:00:59 GMT -6
A preview on a Sweeney Todd parody I'm making which might take a little longer to make than my usual parodies. Hence why I show you preview now 
A boat sailed in the night with a young male at its front and a gloomy figure sitting quietly in the back
Anthony Gatekeeper
I have sailed the world
beheld its wonders
from the Dardanelles,
to the mountains of Peru,
But there’s no place like London!
I feel home again….
I could hear the city bells ring….
Whatever would I do?
No there’s….
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
No place like London!
Anthony Gatekeeper
Mr. Todd, sir?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
You are young….
Life has been kind to you….
Starts to lean in towards Anthony slowly as they continued
You will learn.
Sweeney sat up from the boat as they reached the dock with a brown back over their right shoulder.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
'Tis here we go our separate ways. Farewell Antony. I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.
Antony Gatekeeper
There’s no cause to thank me for that, sir. It would have been a poor Christian indeed who would have spotted you pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
There’s many a Christian would’ve done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.
They stated bitterly
Beggar Woman Maricul
Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin’!
Antony gives her some money
Thank ya, sir, thank ya….
How would ya like a little muff,
dear a little jig-jig,
a little bounce around the bush!
Wouldn’t ya like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear, that you’ve got plenty there to push!
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman….
what’s got wandering wits?
Hey! Don’t I know you, mister?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Must you glare at me, woman? Off with you! Off I say!
Beggar Woman Maricul
Then how would ya like to split me muff?
Mister, we’ll go jig-jig!
A little….
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Off I said! To the devil with you!
Beggar Woman Maricul
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!
Anthony Gatekeeper
Pardon me, sir, but there’s no need to fear the likes of her, she’s only a half-crazed beggar woman…. London’s full of them.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
I beg your indulgence, boy, my mind is far from easy. For in the once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere. Forgive me.
Anthony Gatekeeper
There is nothing to forgive.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Farewell, Anthony.
Sweeney had just turned around when Anthony spoke up again
Anthony Gatekeeper
Mr. Todd, before we part….
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Turns back around to face Anthony
What is it?
Anthony Gatekeeper
I have honored my promise never to question you. Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over many weeks of our voyage home, I’ve come to think of you as a friend, and if trouble lies ahead for you in London, if you need any help….or money.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
No!
Starts to look away from Anthony as they stared off into the distance, their eyes starting to burn in hatred and bitterness, not wanting the young sailor to see
There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren’t worth what a pig could spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed….
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru
but there’s no place like London!
The hate and anger started to pass for now, and in their place was sadness and longing, yet a glimmer of happiness as they relived memories of yesterday, they slowly turned back over to the sailor
There was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful….
a foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason for his life….
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was naive.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful….
A biased vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the barber from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!
Anthony Gatekeeper
The lady, sir….did she succumb?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Ah, that was many years ago….
I doubt if anyone would know.
Now leave me, Antony. There is somewhere I must go, something I must find out. Now, and alone.
Anthony Gatekeeper
But surely we will meet again before I am off to Plymouth?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn’t wander.
Sweeney saw Anthony off and then turned around, beginning to walk away
There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it’s filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!
Anthony Gatekeeper
I have sailed the world
beheld its wonders
from the Dardanelles,
to the mountains of Peru,
But there’s no place like London!
I feel home again….
I could hear the city bells ring….
Whatever would I do?
No there’s….
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
No place like London!
Anthony Gatekeeper
Mr. Todd, sir?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
You are young….
Life has been kind to you….
Starts to lean in towards Anthony slowly as they continued
You will learn.
Sweeney sat up from the boat as they reached the dock with a brown back over their right shoulder.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
'Tis here we go our separate ways. Farewell Antony. I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.
Antony Gatekeeper
There’s no cause to thank me for that, sir. It would have been a poor Christian indeed who would have spotted you pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
There’s many a Christian would’ve done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.
They stated bitterly
Beggar Woman Maricul
Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin’!
Antony gives her some money
Thank ya, sir, thank ya….
How would ya like a little muff,
dear a little jig-jig,
a little bounce around the bush!
Wouldn’t ya like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear, that you’ve got plenty there to push!
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman….
what’s got wandering wits?
Hey! Don’t I know you, mister?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Must you glare at me, woman? Off with you! Off I say!
Beggar Woman Maricul
Then how would ya like to split me muff?
Mister, we’ll go jig-jig!
A little….
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Off I said! To the devil with you!
Beggar Woman Maricul
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!
Anthony Gatekeeper
Pardon me, sir, but there’s no need to fear the likes of her, she’s only a half-crazed beggar woman…. London’s full of them.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
I beg your indulgence, boy, my mind is far from easy. For in the once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere. Forgive me.
Anthony Gatekeeper
There is nothing to forgive.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Farewell, Anthony.
Sweeney had just turned around when Anthony spoke up again
Anthony Gatekeeper
Mr. Todd, before we part….
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Turns back around to face Anthony
What is it?
Anthony Gatekeeper
I have honored my promise never to question you. Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over many weeks of our voyage home, I’ve come to think of you as a friend, and if trouble lies ahead for you in London, if you need any help….or money.
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
No!
Starts to look away from Anthony as they stared off into the distance, their eyes starting to burn in hatred and bitterness, not wanting the young sailor to see
There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren’t worth what a pig could spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed….
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru
but there’s no place like London!
The hate and anger started to pass for now, and in their place was sadness and longing, yet a glimmer of happiness as they relived memories of yesterday, they slowly turned back over to the sailor
There was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful….
a foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason for his life….
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was naive.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful….
A biased vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the barber from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!
Anthony Gatekeeper
The lady, sir….did she succumb?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
Ah, that was many years ago….
I doubt if anyone would know.
Now leave me, Antony. There is somewhere I must go, something I must find out. Now, and alone.
Anthony Gatekeeper
But surely we will meet again before I am off to Plymouth?
Sweeney “Zora” Todd
If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn’t wander.
Sweeney saw Anthony off and then turned around, beginning to walk away
There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it’s filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!