Post by Ayen on Nov 21, 2012 15:53:01 GMT -6
Opener
General Vulture
VS
The Genius
Match Two
Cazador
VS
Lord Phalis
Main Event
Adelina
VS
Queen Lori
--
General Vulture
When I apply my battle theory minds are relatively blown
So take a seat, Steve
Oops I see you brought your own
What's with your voice?
I can't frickin tell
You sound like Wall-E having sex with a Speak and Spell
I'll school you anywhere
MIT to Oxford
All your fans with be like:
“um, that was Hawk-ward”
I’m as dope as two rappers
You better be scared
Cause that means Albert E
Equals M C squared!
The Genius
You've got no idea what you're messing with here boy
I got 12 inch rims on my chair, that’s how I roll y’all
You look like someone glued a mustache on a troll doll
I’ll be stretching out the rhyme, like gravity stretches time
When you try to put your little p-brain against this kind of mind
I’m the best
I’m the Snoop Dogg of Science
I’ll be dropping mad apples on your head from the shoulder of giants
General Vulture
I’m the giant whose shoulders you’d have stood on, if you could stand
The Genius
General Vulture
I’ll give you a brief history of pain with the back of my hand
You can’t destroy matter or me, for serious
Ripping holes in you bigger than the hole in your black hole theory was!
The Genius
There are ten
Million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, particles in the universe that we can observe
Your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
You wanna bring the heat
With the mushroom clouds you’re making
I’m about to bake raps from scratch, like Carl Sagan
And while it’s true
That my work is based on you
I’m a super computer
You’re like a TI-82
Ooh!
--
Lord Phalis
Spartans!
Let's start this!
Show this petty officer who's the hardest!
The biggest mistake that you've ever made
I'll toss you like a frag grenade
I'll stomp you in the face
With my sandals enraged
And tonight we shall rhyme in the shade
Your puny fans are fat nerds on computers
Jerking off to games gives themselves First Person Shooters
Your armor's hard but my abs are harder
You're in my hood now chief
THIS IS SPARTA!
Lord Phalis kicks Cazador down a bottomless pit. A silence falls over the arena before a jet pack could be heard going off as Caz made his way up out of the hole.
Cazador
Not, so, fast
Cortana says you're Greek. So why don't you stick these lyrics up your ass?
They built a monument to my sins
You're the soldier they need you to be
Ain't no way that you can beat me
Even my initials spell MC
While you and your companions were all camping in a canyon
Took a campaign to your house and showed your Queen my Plasma cannon
Hekate
*shrugs*
Cazador
They should've thrown your rhymes over the cliff because they're sickly
You will not enjoy this
But it will be over quickly
Lord Phalis
Ha! I've had better battles with my 6-year old son
I don't need firepower when I'm rocking these guns
I'm King!
You sleep in a freezer in outer space
I'd look you in the eyes but you're too much of a bitch to show your face!
Cazador
You got a bad case of no shirt there Fabio Flintstone
Your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with down syndrome!
300 asses need a kickin'
Get more tea bags than Lipton
So why don't you quit your bitchin'?
My trigger finger's itching
--
Adelina
I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts
I'm rich! I got fat stacks and super PACs
We all know what went down in that 2008 election
You're a decent politician with a winning complexion
You're all Barack and no bite, been no change and we're all still hoping
That you'll shut your mouth, but like Guantanamo Bay they're both open
You're from the windy city, where you're looking pretty with your blowhards
But come January, you'll be left evicted and with no job
Raw rhymes stronger than my jawline when I spit a phrase
Knocking you harder than front doors in my old mission days
You see this silver spoon? This dug Mass out of debt
Took you four years to drop unemployment down below 8%
You feel that Barry? You're old news, everyone's having doubts
And your rhymes are as weak as this economy that you've done nothing about
Call me a vicious businessman cause Romney's stealing this race
I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey ass, restructure your face!
Queen Lori
They say your father was a great man. You must be what's left
Need to stop hatin' on gays, let 'em teach you how to dress
You've got the momma jeans and a Mister Fantastic face
So rich and white it's like I'm running against a cheesecake!
Republicans need a puppet and you fit
Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt
I'm the head of state. You're like a head of cabbage
'Bout to get smacked by my stimulus package
You're a bad man with no chance. You can't even touch me
I got four more years (two terms) in the White House, just trust me
I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half
Cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your ass!
Adelina
Whatever, that 40% thing got you real mad
What, did it remind you how many decent parents you had?
Queen Lori
Uh, look, I respect all religions, uh, but it might get crazy
If the White House has a first, second, and a third lady!
Adelina
Ha! Don't bring up wives, man! What are you doing?
You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing!
Queen Lori
Uhhh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted
We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it!
Adelina
Ahhuuhhaa...you're a stuttering communist
Queen Lori
Oh yeah? Well you're stupid.
Adelina
You're stupid!
Queen Lori
Nuh-uh!
Adelina
EERRGGG!
Queen Lori
EEEERRRR!
Amoura
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird
The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds!
Amoura drops down between the two.
Amoura
(At Lori) You, I wanna like you, don't talk about change, just do it!
I fought for what was on my brain and until an arashi went through it!
(At Adelina) And you, moneybag, you're a pancake, you're flip-floppity
It's a country, not a company, you can play like Monopoly!
I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch smack you as equals!
Of the people
*slaps Lori*
By the people
*slaps Adelina*
For the people
Eagle!
FIN!
General Vulture
VS
The Genius
Match Two
Cazador
VS
Lord Phalis
Main Event
Adelina
VS
Queen Lori
--
General Vulture
When I apply my battle theory minds are relatively blown
So take a seat, Steve
Oops I see you brought your own
What's with your voice?
I can't frickin tell
You sound like Wall-E having sex with a Speak and Spell
I'll school you anywhere
MIT to Oxford
All your fans with be like:
“um, that was Hawk-ward”
I’m as dope as two rappers
You better be scared
Cause that means Albert E
Equals M C squared!
The Genius
You've got no idea what you're messing with here boy
I got 12 inch rims on my chair, that’s how I roll y’all
You look like someone glued a mustache on a troll doll
I’ll be stretching out the rhyme, like gravity stretches time
When you try to put your little p-brain against this kind of mind
I’m the best
I’m the Snoop Dogg of Science
I’ll be dropping mad apples on your head from the shoulder of giants
General Vulture
I’m the giant whose shoulders you’d have stood on, if you could stand
The Genius
General Vulture
I’ll give you a brief history of pain with the back of my hand
You can’t destroy matter or me, for serious
Ripping holes in you bigger than the hole in your black hole theory was!
The Genius
There are ten
Million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, particles in the universe that we can observe
Your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd
You wanna bring the heat
With the mushroom clouds you’re making
I’m about to bake raps from scratch, like Carl Sagan
And while it’s true
That my work is based on you
I’m a super computer
You’re like a TI-82
Ooh!
--
Lord Phalis
Spartans!
Let's start this!
Show this petty officer who's the hardest!
The biggest mistake that you've ever made
I'll toss you like a frag grenade
I'll stomp you in the face
With my sandals enraged
And tonight we shall rhyme in the shade
Your puny fans are fat nerds on computers
Jerking off to games gives themselves First Person Shooters
Your armor's hard but my abs are harder
You're in my hood now chief
THIS IS SPARTA!
Lord Phalis kicks Cazador down a bottomless pit. A silence falls over the arena before a jet pack could be heard going off as Caz made his way up out of the hole.
Cazador
Not, so, fast
Cortana says you're Greek. So why don't you stick these lyrics up your ass?
They built a monument to my sins
You're the soldier they need you to be
Ain't no way that you can beat me
Even my initials spell MC
While you and your companions were all camping in a canyon
Took a campaign to your house and showed your Queen my Plasma cannon
Hekate
*shrugs*
Cazador
They should've thrown your rhymes over the cliff because they're sickly
You will not enjoy this
But it will be over quickly
Lord Phalis
Ha! I've had better battles with my 6-year old son
I don't need firepower when I'm rocking these guns
I'm King!
You sleep in a freezer in outer space
I'd look you in the eyes but you're too much of a bitch to show your face!
Cazador
You got a bad case of no shirt there Fabio Flintstone
Your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with down syndrome!
300 asses need a kickin'
Get more tea bags than Lipton
So why don't you quit your bitchin'?
My trigger finger's itching
--
Adelina
I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts
I'm rich! I got fat stacks and super PACs
We all know what went down in that 2008 election
You're a decent politician with a winning complexion
You're all Barack and no bite, been no change and we're all still hoping
That you'll shut your mouth, but like Guantanamo Bay they're both open
You're from the windy city, where you're looking pretty with your blowhards
But come January, you'll be left evicted and with no job
Raw rhymes stronger than my jawline when I spit a phrase
Knocking you harder than front doors in my old mission days
You see this silver spoon? This dug Mass out of debt
Took you four years to drop unemployment down below 8%
You feel that Barry? You're old news, everyone's having doubts
And your rhymes are as weak as this economy that you've done nothing about
Call me a vicious businessman cause Romney's stealing this race
I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey ass, restructure your face!
Queen Lori
They say your father was a great man. You must be what's left
Need to stop hatin' on gays, let 'em teach you how to dress
You've got the momma jeans and a Mister Fantastic face
So rich and white it's like I'm running against a cheesecake!
Republicans need a puppet and you fit
Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt
I'm the head of state. You're like a head of cabbage
'Bout to get smacked by my stimulus package
You're a bad man with no chance. You can't even touch me
I got four more years (two terms) in the White House, just trust me
I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half
Cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your ass!
Adelina
Whatever, that 40% thing got you real mad
What, did it remind you how many decent parents you had?
Queen Lori
Uh, look, I respect all religions, uh, but it might get crazy
If the White House has a first, second, and a third lady!
Adelina
Ha! Don't bring up wives, man! What are you doing?
You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing!
Queen Lori
Uhhh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted
We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it!
Adelina
Ahhuuhhaa...you're a stuttering communist
Queen Lori
Oh yeah? Well you're stupid.
Adelina
You're stupid!
Queen Lori
Nuh-uh!
Adelina
EERRGGG!
Queen Lori
EEEERRRR!
Amoura
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird
The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds!
Amoura drops down between the two.
Amoura
(At Lori) You, I wanna like you, don't talk about change, just do it!
I fought for what was on my brain and until an arashi went through it!
(At Adelina) And you, moneybag, you're a pancake, you're flip-floppity
It's a country, not a company, you can play like Monopoly!
I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch smack you as equals!
Of the people
*slaps Lori*
By the people
*slaps Adelina*
For the people
Eagle!
FIN!