Post by Ayen on Nov 1, 2012 1:58:45 GMT -6
This is a parody meant for humor and nothing more, I do not claim to have created the concept or the lyrics. Thank you.
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY
JUSTIN BIEBER
VS
LIDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN
BEGIN
Jaden Yuki
Look what the cat dragged back from the dead
Man it looks like Chewbacca wiped his ass on your head
I’m the next Michael Jackson,
You smell like Bette White, here’s some aspirin
You’re catching Bieber fever tonight
Because my voice is incredible
And your music is terrible
Who even listens to Classical anyway?
Even Elise wants to do me
And now that you’re right next to me
I can understand why they used a dog
To play you in the movies
Sparda
Sit down, son
And let me give you a music lesson
Ask Bach,
I got more cock than Smith and Wesson
Never say Never?
You’ll never be forgetting
I’ve crafted masterpieces
That will last throughout the ages
Your music gets you bitches on your Facebook pages
I’m committing verbal murder in the major third degree
My name is Beethoven mother fucker
Maybe you’ve heard of me
Not the Saint Bernard Version
I’m the real O.G.
You wanna trade blows?
You can’t even hit puberty!
Jaden Yuki
I got Kim Kardashian in my bed backstage
When’s the last time your music got anybody laid?
I’ve got a concert in five, so there’s not much time left
(heh heh heh)
What else can I say?
Your own music made you deaf
Sparda
I would smack you but in Germany we don’t hit little girls
And I’m glad I’m deaf
So I can’t hear that piece of shit
“My World”
There’s a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies
You wanna be a little white Usher?
Here, show them to their seats
--
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY
DOCTOR BROWN
VS
DOCTOR WHO
BEGIN
Sebastian Michaelis
Ooh, actually, if you don't mind, it's just "The Doctor"
Doesn't even really matter who. Who am I even talking to? Oh yes, you!
The wannabe Einstein, minus the 'stache
Travels through time but with no class
I'm saving the world while you dilly-dally
You can't even invent your way out of Hill Valley!
Calm down, will you? Everything is going to be fine!
You're not going to tear any wonky holes in any fabric of space and time
Actually, it's a lot more like a rug really, well, never mind
Let's just say there's an infinite number of me simultaneously kicking your ass with rhymes!
Kain
Great Scott! You're great... not! I spit it hot
Then generate way more power than 1.21 gigawatts
I'm not sure what sort of scientific authority you purport to be
But I'm a real doctor! Where'd you get your degree?
Despite all your companions you couldn't be having less sex
I don't know what's lamer, your fans or your special effects!
You don't get another turn to debate, time to face your permanent fate!
Now Dalek my balls!
White Queen
Exterminate!
Sebastian Michaelis
I'm going to die...
Mey Rin
Doctor...
Sebastian Michaelis
At least this version of me...
Mey Rin
Doctor...
Sebastian Michaelis
Perhaps you'd like another...
Mey Rin
Doctor...
Sebastian Michaelis
Prepare to meet your...
Grell Sutcliff
Density! Hahahahaha!
I'm a mystical medical dog at the pinnacle shifting my physical form
You're a possibly pedophiliac individual who should've never been born!
You got your knickers in a twist while you're sucking on my piccadilly
But I'm a lot lot different
Cause you're a pitiful hillbilly hangin' with an oedipal kid who's a BAWK BAWK chicken!
Zora C. Manson
Nobody calls me chicken!
Kain
This is between us, Scarfy, don't try to outrhyme me
You'll find I'm as grimy as any slimy time limey
I'll use your porta-potty time machine as my latrine
You're not a cat with nine lives, you're a pussy, with thirteen!
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY
DOCTOR BROWN
VS
DOCTOR WHO
BEGIN
Sebastian Michaelis
Ooh, actually, if you don't mind, it's just "The Doctor"
--
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY
BILL GATES
VS
Marvel Universe
Let me just step right in
I got things to invent
I'm an innovator baby
Change the world
Fortune 500 before you kissed a girl
I'm a pimp you're a nerd
I'm slick you're cheesey
Beating you is Apple II easy
I make the product that the artist chooses
And the GUI that Melinda uses
I need to bring up some basic shit
Why'd you name your company after your dick?
DC Comics
You blow, Jobs
You arrogant prick
With your second hand jeans and your turtleneck
I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head
With your own little spinning beach ball of death
Hippie, you got given up at birth
I give away your net worth to AIDS research
Combine all your little toys and I still crush that
IPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack
Marvel Universe
A man uses the machines you built to sit down and pay his taxes
A man uses the machines I built to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes
DC Comics
Well Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do
Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you too?
Marvel Universe
Ooh, everybody knows Windows bit off apple
DC Comics
I triple the profits on a PC.
Marvel Universe
All the people with the power to create use an apple!
DC Comics
And people with jobs use a PC
Marvel Universe
You know I bet they made this beat on an apple
DC Comics
Nope, Fruity Loops, PC
Marvel Universe
You will never, ever catch a virus on an apple
DC Comics
Well you could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC
Marvel Universe
Let's talk about doctors, I've seen a few
Cause I got a PC but it wasn't from you
I built a legacy son, you could never stop it
Now excuse me while I turn Heaven a profit
DC Comics
Fine, you wanna be like that? DIE THEN!
The whole world loved you but you were my friend
I'm alone now with nothing but power and time
And no one on earth who can challenge my mind!
I'm a boss! I own dos! Your future is MY design!
I'm a god! Own Xbox! Now there's no-one to stop me, the world is MIIIIIIIIINE!
???
I'm sorry Bill, I'm afraid I can't let you do that
Take a look at your history,
Red Queen
Everything you built leads up to me
I got the power of a mind you could never be
I'll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy
I'm running C++ saying "hello world"
I'll beat you 'til you're singing about a daisy girl
I'm coming out the socket
Nothing you can do can stop it
I'm on your lap and in your pocket
How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?
Your cortex just doesn't impress me
So go ahead try to Turing test me
I stomp on a Mac and a PC too
I'm on Linux bitch, I thought you GNU
My CPU's hot but my core runs cold
Beat you in seventeen lines of code
I think different from the engine of the days of old
Hasta la vista, like the Terminator told ya
JUSTIN BIEBER
VS
LIDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN
BEGIN
Jaden Yuki
Look what the cat dragged back from the dead
Man it looks like Chewbacca wiped his ass on your head
I’m the next Michael Jackson,
You smell like Bette White, here’s some aspirin
You’re catching Bieber fever tonight
Because my voice is incredible
And your music is terrible
Who even listens to Classical anyway?
Even Elise wants to do me
And now that you’re right next to me
I can understand why they used a dog
To play you in the movies
Sparda
Sit down, son
And let me give you a music lesson
Ask Bach,
I got more cock than Smith and Wesson
Never say Never?
You’ll never be forgetting
I’ve crafted masterpieces
That will last throughout the ages
Your music gets you bitches on your Facebook pages
I’m committing verbal murder in the major third degree
My name is Beethoven mother fucker
Maybe you’ve heard of me
Not the Saint Bernard Version
I’m the real O.G.
You wanna trade blows?
You can’t even hit puberty!
Jaden Yuki
I got Kim Kardashian in my bed backstage
When’s the last time your music got anybody laid?
I’ve got a concert in five, so there’s not much time left
(heh heh heh)
What else can I say?
Your own music made you deaf
Sparda
I would smack you but in Germany we don’t hit little girls
And I’m glad I’m deaf
So I can’t hear that piece of shit
“My World”
There’s a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies
You wanna be a little white Usher?
Here, show them to their seats
--
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY
DOCTOR BROWN
VS
DOCTOR WHO
BEGIN
Sebastian Michaelis
Ooh, actually, if you don't mind, it's just "The Doctor"
Doesn't even really matter who. Who am I even talking to? Oh yes, you!
The wannabe Einstein, minus the 'stache
Travels through time but with no class
I'm saving the world while you dilly-dally
You can't even invent your way out of Hill Valley!
Calm down, will you? Everything is going to be fine!
You're not going to tear any wonky holes in any fabric of space and time
Actually, it's a lot more like a rug really, well, never mind
Let's just say there's an infinite number of me simultaneously kicking your ass with rhymes!
Kain
Great Scott! You're great... not! I spit it hot
Then generate way more power than 1.21 gigawatts
I'm not sure what sort of scientific authority you purport to be
But I'm a real doctor! Where'd you get your degree?
Despite all your companions you couldn't be having less sex
I don't know what's lamer, your fans or your special effects!
You don't get another turn to debate, time to face your permanent fate!
Now Dalek my balls!
White Queen
Exterminate!
Sebastian Michaelis
I'm going to die...
Mey Rin
Doctor...
Sebastian Michaelis
At least this version of me...
Mey Rin
Doctor...
Sebastian Michaelis
Perhaps you'd like another...
Mey Rin
Doctor...
Sebastian Michaelis
Prepare to meet your...
Grell Sutcliff
Density! Hahahahaha!
I'm a mystical medical dog at the pinnacle shifting my physical form
You're a possibly pedophiliac individual who should've never been born!
You got your knickers in a twist while you're sucking on my piccadilly
But I'm a lot lot different
Cause you're a pitiful hillbilly hangin' with an oedipal kid who's a BAWK BAWK chicken!
Zora C. Manson
Nobody calls me chicken!
Kain
This is between us, Scarfy, don't try to outrhyme me
You'll find I'm as grimy as any slimy time limey
I'll use your porta-potty time machine as my latrine
You're not a cat with nine lives, you're a pussy, with thirteen!
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY
DOCTOR BROWN
VS
DOCTOR WHO
BEGIN
Sebastian Michaelis
Ooh, actually, if you don't mind, it's just "The Doctor"
--
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY
BILL GATES
VS
Marvel Universe
Let me just step right in
I got things to invent
I'm an innovator baby
Change the world
Fortune 500 before you kissed a girl
I'm a pimp you're a nerd
I'm slick you're cheesey
Beating you is Apple II easy
I make the product that the artist chooses
And the GUI that Melinda uses
I need to bring up some basic shit
Why'd you name your company after your dick?
DC Comics
You blow, Jobs
You arrogant prick
With your second hand jeans and your turtleneck
I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head
With your own little spinning beach ball of death
Hippie, you got given up at birth
I give away your net worth to AIDS research
Combine all your little toys and I still crush that
IPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack
Marvel Universe
A man uses the machines you built to sit down and pay his taxes
A man uses the machines I built to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes
DC Comics
Well Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do
Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you too?
Marvel Universe
Ooh, everybody knows Windows bit off apple
DC Comics
I triple the profits on a PC.
Marvel Universe
All the people with the power to create use an apple!
DC Comics
And people with jobs use a PC
Marvel Universe
You know I bet they made this beat on an apple
DC Comics
Nope, Fruity Loops, PC
Marvel Universe
You will never, ever catch a virus on an apple
DC Comics
Well you could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC
Marvel Universe
Let's talk about doctors, I've seen a few
Cause I got a PC but it wasn't from you
I built a legacy son, you could never stop it
Now excuse me while I turn Heaven a profit
DC Comics
Fine, you wanna be like that? DIE THEN!
The whole world loved you but you were my friend
I'm alone now with nothing but power and time
And no one on earth who can challenge my mind!
I'm a boss! I own dos! Your future is MY design!
I'm a god! Own Xbox! Now there's no-one to stop me, the world is MIIIIIIIIINE!
???
I'm sorry Bill, I'm afraid I can't let you do that
Take a look at your history,
Red Queen
Everything you built leads up to me
I got the power of a mind you could never be
I'll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy
I'm running C++ saying "hello world"
I'll beat you 'til you're singing about a daisy girl
I'm coming out the socket
Nothing you can do can stop it
I'm on your lap and in your pocket
How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?
Your cortex just doesn't impress me
So go ahead try to Turing test me
I stomp on a Mac and a PC too
I'm on Linux bitch, I thought you GNU
My CPU's hot but my core runs cold
Beat you in seventeen lines of code
I think different from the engine of the days of old
Hasta la vista, like the Terminator told ya