Post by Red Queen on Sept 27, 2012 16:33:08 GMT -6
Yesterday for Tori's birthday we went to see Resident Evil Retribution. So we get to the theater, got our tickets and found that the movie is playing all the way at the back of the theater.
Wow this is going to suck.
We get into the actual room where the movie is being played and find only one or two other people are seated to see the film.
Wow this is going to suck.
When the ads get rolling the screen blacks out halfway through and all we have left is the audio.
Wow... this is going to suck!
After the projector or whatever get their problem fix we start to see the trailers and are told to put on our 3D glasses. Now here's something you may not know about ToriJ. He hates 3D. He hates it because it scares the living shit out of him. So why he wanted to see a movie with ZOMBIES in 3D is anyone's guess but the first trailer we see pop up, is a trailer on the new Silent Hill movie. And one of the first things we see? A creepy little girl who reminds us of Alma from F.E.A.R.
ToriJ removes his 3D glasses and shouts
FUCK YOU!
At the screen and refuses to put on his glasses for the rest of the trailer.
This is pretty much the entire movie experience. Glass pours out of the screen? ToriJ goes
"AHHHHHHH!"
A random zombie pops out for the classic cheapest scare known in the horror genre? ToriJ goes
"AHHHHHHH!"
Milla Jovovich's breasts come popping out of the screen? ToriJ goes
"AHHHHHH! BOOBS!"
Okay that doesn't really happen but it might as well.
The movie itself? Terrible. It has so many slow modes scenes that add nothing to the movie, the characters that are taken from the games are little more than fanservice, there's virtually no story at all and they take one of the few things I actually enjoyed about the first movie, Red Queen, and sucked out any and ALL personality she ever had. The Red Queen is so boring in this. All she does is appear on the screen like a bad FMV in a video game (har, har) and gives generic commands for each room. The only dramatic line that she actually has in the film, was the same dramatic line she already gave in the first movie. And the worst thing is THEY ALREADY SHOWED US THAT LINE IN THE FLASHBACK! btw those thinking there's a new Red Queen, there isn't. It's the same Red Queen they just changed her model (naturally since the original actress would be too old) and slap her on in the flash backs to the first movie to say, "Go with it."
IMO this movie's only saving grace is Michelle Rodriguez, thank God they didn't kill both the things I actually liked about the first movie. And after seeing Sienna Guillory forget how to act and try to remember only to fall short I was praying for Michelle Rodriguez to be back on my screen.
All in all the only entertaining thing about this movie was Michelle Rodriguez and ToriJ's reactions to the 3D in the movie.
One more thing...
Zombies on motorcycles.
No, I'm not kidding.
Zombies on motorcycles.
This movie SUCKS!
To give this thread an actual topic feel free to discuss your own thoughts on the movie.
Wow this is going to suck.
We get into the actual room where the movie is being played and find only one or two other people are seated to see the film.
Wow this is going to suck.
When the ads get rolling the screen blacks out halfway through and all we have left is the audio.
Wow... this is going to suck!
After the projector or whatever get their problem fix we start to see the trailers and are told to put on our 3D glasses. Now here's something you may not know about ToriJ. He hates 3D. He hates it because it scares the living shit out of him. So why he wanted to see a movie with ZOMBIES in 3D is anyone's guess but the first trailer we see pop up, is a trailer on the new Silent Hill movie. And one of the first things we see? A creepy little girl who reminds us of Alma from F.E.A.R.
ToriJ removes his 3D glasses and shouts
FUCK YOU!
At the screen and refuses to put on his glasses for the rest of the trailer.
This is pretty much the entire movie experience. Glass pours out of the screen? ToriJ goes
"AHHHHHHH!"
A random zombie pops out for the classic cheapest scare known in the horror genre? ToriJ goes
"AHHHHHHH!"
Milla Jovovich's breasts come popping out of the screen? ToriJ goes
"AHHHHHH! BOOBS!"
Okay that doesn't really happen but it might as well.
The movie itself? Terrible. It has so many slow modes scenes that add nothing to the movie, the characters that are taken from the games are little more than fanservice, there's virtually no story at all and they take one of the few things I actually enjoyed about the first movie, Red Queen, and sucked out any and ALL personality she ever had. The Red Queen is so boring in this. All she does is appear on the screen like a bad FMV in a video game (har, har) and gives generic commands for each room. The only dramatic line that she actually has in the film, was the same dramatic line she already gave in the first movie. And the worst thing is THEY ALREADY SHOWED US THAT LINE IN THE FLASHBACK! btw those thinking there's a new Red Queen, there isn't. It's the same Red Queen they just changed her model (naturally since the original actress would be too old) and slap her on in the flash backs to the first movie to say, "Go with it."
IMO this movie's only saving grace is Michelle Rodriguez, thank God they didn't kill both the things I actually liked about the first movie. And after seeing Sienna Guillory forget how to act and try to remember only to fall short I was praying for Michelle Rodriguez to be back on my screen.
All in all the only entertaining thing about this movie was Michelle Rodriguez and ToriJ's reactions to the 3D in the movie.
One more thing...
Zombies on motorcycles.
No, I'm not kidding.
Zombies on motorcycles.
This movie SUCKS!
To give this thread an actual topic feel free to discuss your own thoughts on the movie.
