Post by .:Amilia:. on Dec 30, 2012 12:45:39 GMT -6
So last night I went to a party for House of Shock, it's considered our award show/Christmas party/New Years party. It has an open bar. Of course I didn't go alone, I dragged the girlfriend with me (Georgia) and Eric came as well with Angel since he works there with me. For those of you who don't know what an open bar is allow me to explain.
An open bar is the best most worst thing you can ever do to your liver and personal life. It is a relationship breaker and a baby maker, it watches you when you sleep and makes you pee in odd places. Over the course of the night Angel kept track of how much I drank because she was sober since she doesn't drink. My drink total:
8x Jack and coke (double shot)
2x Jack and Coke singles
4x Jack on the Rocks
6x Crown and Sprite
1x Captain shot (drew the line at one Capn shots are horrible)
After Party
6x Tequila shots
3x 16oz Margaritas
Now with all of that compact into one small list it doesn't look like a lot so I'm going to be a dick and just spread the list out in the order she said I drank them.
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack on the Rocks
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and Coke single
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack on the Rocks
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and Coke single
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack on the Rocks
Jack on the Rocks
Crown and Sprite
Captain shot
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Margarita
Margarita
Margarita
32oz of Water
I didn't believe it humanly possible that I could wake up the next day 10 hours later just as drunk as when I fell asleep. I can't remember my night but thankfully my lovely Girlfriend can remember it for me.
In her words:
"You started off good, said hello to everyone as they arrived got your shock shirt and got our drinks. After that it went down hill."
6:48PM: We arrive, Me, Georgia, Angel and Eric
6:50 I have my first drink.
7:00 They open the merch trailer to give out our special shirts.
7:05 I have my shirt.
7:06 I have drink number two.
7:10 I have my third drink which I promptly down in one shot.
7:11 I have my fourth drink.
7:15 They announce the award show will be at 8 and everyone should eat and party a bit.
7:20 I have food for me and Georgia and am balancing the plate on my cup like a boss.
7:25 I have eaten all my food and I'm getting seconds because fuck the rules of drinking and eating.
7:30 My cup broke and stopped giving me alcohol we go in for drink number 5 and make it a bitch drink because I can feel the wobble in my step.
7:40 Sixth drink in hand. They announce that they're running late and wont be handing out awards until 9 so keep partying. They start playing some old school metal and I begin a mosh pit between six people until we get yelled at.
7:50 One of my favorite people shows up and we start yelling every swear word in the dictionary at each other.
7:55 I'm getting him a drink and myself a drink. I didn't realize I still had my sixth drink in my other hand so I down the rest of it.
8:10 Piss break, both johns are locked and people are taking forever, they do not realize my wrath and how much I've been drinking so I proceed to kicking the side of the left one over and over again to hurry the person up.
8:11 Turns out to be Eric and he shoves me into the john. As I am relieving myself he has taken it upon himself to grab the outside of the john and shake it as much as he can. I proceed to throw up thanks to that asshole and instantly lose my drunkenness.
8:12 Jack on the rocks to get that buzz back.
8:30 I have a pocket full of pretzels and I've began throwing them across the tent at people. Also drink number nine, full drunk effect is back.
8:40 Drink number 10, simmer down drink.
8:50 My mexican shows up and we start drinking hard to catch him up. Speed drinking round in ten minutes I'm on drink number 14 and he's introduced me to crown and sprite.
9:00 The award ceremony begins and I'm now sitting down bent at a 90 degree angle with my head directly in Georgia's lap yelling at myself for drinking too much. In the process every few minutes I sit up and drink more and go back down until my name is called for biggest balls award.
9:30 the award show is over and I've had a shot of crown because I think I'm not drunk enough.
9:45 I learn that Levi used to train sambo. He is completely sober and I'm completely fucked up and proceed to try and wrestle with him. I hit my head on the deck and lay there for ten minutes until my mexican brings me another drink.
10:00 The fire work show begins and I'm on my third crown and sprite. I remember I have a jacket pocket full of pretzels and go to grab one only to realize they've all been smashed while wrestling and have interweaved themselves into the fabric of my jacket.
10:20 I'm on my last crown and sprite for the night, by now I've taken accustom to yelling rude obscenities at Angels breasts which earns me a slap across the back of my head by Eric.
10:40 I apparently wake up in his truck and go to get out and slam into the ground. The after party has started without me and I can hear them having fun.
10:41 I piss on the first car I see and stumble my way back to the open bar where my mexican is who orders 12 shots of tequila and splits them with me. He pays for them because that shit isn't cheap.
10:45 We take a shot of Tabasco and hammer down all 6 shots in rapid succession. Our stomachs don't agree with this and we both end up behind the dumpster throwing up.
11:00 Not learning my lesson with Tequila I order a margarita.
11:10 I find Eric and tackle him.
11:11 I apparently hit my head on the ground when tackling him and went to sleep, they left me there. I get up and find my margarita and drink the rest of it.
11:15 It's 5:00 somewhere and I'm in margarita ville, number 2.
11:20 I feel like throwing up but decide this is just me being hungry. I eat an entire plate of pasta.
11:25 I realize how bad of a boyfriend I've been all night and find Georgia and hug her.
11:30 Still hugging her. She's warm I can't figure out how to stand up, she's my balance.
11:35 I demand her to balance me to the bar to get another margarita. We both know it's a bad idea and she says, "Last one." To which I reply, "Or what?" And she replies, "Or I tell Eric what we did on his couch." To which I reply, "You wouldn't....." And now I write this sober because I realize we didn't do anything on the couch and she knows how to threaten a drunk person... Touche.
11:40 The last margarita and the pasta has me in an uproar. I'm violent and unstable as I yell about crazy italians and mexican hat dances. I call my mexican a dirty donky lover and he tells me I'm a nappy headed camel lover.
11:44 I violently throw up in the John. My aim is completely off and I end up throwing up in the urinal. . . I actually think I did this on purpose because it sounds like something I'd do.
11:50 Angel and Georgia both walk up to me with the most massive container of water. Eric follows them and tells me I'm a bad person for what I did to the john. He congratulates me for not dying of alcohol poisoning, yet.
12:00AM After party is over everyone is told to go home. We part ways to say good bye to our people and return back to Eric's truck. I go to open his back door and miss slip and slam my head into his passenger window.
12:01 Moving vehicle while I'm laying down in the back seat equals throwing up. I open the door while we're going 70 and projectile vomit all over the car behind us. Eric speeds up calling me a, "Fucking moron."
12:20 We get back home. I instantly jump into a cold shower and mouth wash the fuck out of my mouth which makes me throw up again.......
12:50 I pass out finally.
10:40 I wake up and go to use the bathroom. I take my first step into the new day by wobbling and stumbling across the bedroom. I am just as drunk as I was when I went to sleep however, my mind is finally sober.
11:00 I lay back down after chugging water and stare at the ceiling for an hour yelling at myself, "Why did I do this to myself."
Moral to the story............. No, I'm not going to tell you, take what you will from the story, it was fucking fantastic while it lasted.
An open bar is the best most worst thing you can ever do to your liver and personal life. It is a relationship breaker and a baby maker, it watches you when you sleep and makes you pee in odd places. Over the course of the night Angel kept track of how much I drank because she was sober since she doesn't drink. My drink total:
8x Jack and coke (double shot)
2x Jack and Coke singles
4x Jack on the Rocks
6x Crown and Sprite
1x Captain shot (drew the line at one Capn shots are horrible)
After Party
6x Tequila shots
3x 16oz Margaritas
Now with all of that compact into one small list it doesn't look like a lot so I'm going to be a dick and just spread the list out in the order she said I drank them.
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack on the Rocks
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and Coke single
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack on the Rocks
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and Coke single
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack and coke (double shot)
Jack on the Rocks
Jack on the Rocks
Crown and Sprite
Captain shot
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Crown and Sprite
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Tequila shot
Margarita
Margarita
Margarita
32oz of Water
I didn't believe it humanly possible that I could wake up the next day 10 hours later just as drunk as when I fell asleep. I can't remember my night but thankfully my lovely Girlfriend can remember it for me.
In her words:
"You started off good, said hello to everyone as they arrived got your shock shirt and got our drinks. After that it went down hill."
6:48PM: We arrive, Me, Georgia, Angel and Eric
6:50 I have my first drink.
7:00 They open the merch trailer to give out our special shirts.
7:05 I have my shirt.
7:06 I have drink number two.
7:10 I have my third drink which I promptly down in one shot.
7:11 I have my fourth drink.
7:15 They announce the award show will be at 8 and everyone should eat and party a bit.
7:20 I have food for me and Georgia and am balancing the plate on my cup like a boss.
7:25 I have eaten all my food and I'm getting seconds because fuck the rules of drinking and eating.
7:30 My cup broke and stopped giving me alcohol we go in for drink number 5 and make it a bitch drink because I can feel the wobble in my step.
7:40 Sixth drink in hand. They announce that they're running late and wont be handing out awards until 9 so keep partying. They start playing some old school metal and I begin a mosh pit between six people until we get yelled at.
7:50 One of my favorite people shows up and we start yelling every swear word in the dictionary at each other.
7:55 I'm getting him a drink and myself a drink. I didn't realize I still had my sixth drink in my other hand so I down the rest of it.
8:10 Piss break, both johns are locked and people are taking forever, they do not realize my wrath and how much I've been drinking so I proceed to kicking the side of the left one over and over again to hurry the person up.
8:11 Turns out to be Eric and he shoves me into the john. As I am relieving myself he has taken it upon himself to grab the outside of the john and shake it as much as he can. I proceed to throw up thanks to that asshole and instantly lose my drunkenness.
8:12 Jack on the rocks to get that buzz back.
8:30 I have a pocket full of pretzels and I've began throwing them across the tent at people. Also drink number nine, full drunk effect is back.
8:40 Drink number 10, simmer down drink.
8:50 My mexican shows up and we start drinking hard to catch him up. Speed drinking round in ten minutes I'm on drink number 14 and he's introduced me to crown and sprite.
9:00 The award ceremony begins and I'm now sitting down bent at a 90 degree angle with my head directly in Georgia's lap yelling at myself for drinking too much. In the process every few minutes I sit up and drink more and go back down until my name is called for biggest balls award.
9:30 the award show is over and I've had a shot of crown because I think I'm not drunk enough.
9:45 I learn that Levi used to train sambo. He is completely sober and I'm completely fucked up and proceed to try and wrestle with him. I hit my head on the deck and lay there for ten minutes until my mexican brings me another drink.
10:00 The fire work show begins and I'm on my third crown and sprite. I remember I have a jacket pocket full of pretzels and go to grab one only to realize they've all been smashed while wrestling and have interweaved themselves into the fabric of my jacket.
10:20 I'm on my last crown and sprite for the night, by now I've taken accustom to yelling rude obscenities at Angels breasts which earns me a slap across the back of my head by Eric.
10:40 I apparently wake up in his truck and go to get out and slam into the ground. The after party has started without me and I can hear them having fun.
10:41 I piss on the first car I see and stumble my way back to the open bar where my mexican is who orders 12 shots of tequila and splits them with me. He pays for them because that shit isn't cheap.
10:45 We take a shot of Tabasco and hammer down all 6 shots in rapid succession. Our stomachs don't agree with this and we both end up behind the dumpster throwing up.
11:00 Not learning my lesson with Tequila I order a margarita.
11:10 I find Eric and tackle him.
11:11 I apparently hit my head on the ground when tackling him and went to sleep, they left me there. I get up and find my margarita and drink the rest of it.
11:15 It's 5:00 somewhere and I'm in margarita ville, number 2.
11:20 I feel like throwing up but decide this is just me being hungry. I eat an entire plate of pasta.
11:25 I realize how bad of a boyfriend I've been all night and find Georgia and hug her.
11:30 Still hugging her. She's warm I can't figure out how to stand up, she's my balance.
11:35 I demand her to balance me to the bar to get another margarita. We both know it's a bad idea and she says, "Last one." To which I reply, "Or what?" And she replies, "Or I tell Eric what we did on his couch." To which I reply, "You wouldn't....." And now I write this sober because I realize we didn't do anything on the couch and she knows how to threaten a drunk person... Touche.
11:40 The last margarita and the pasta has me in an uproar. I'm violent and unstable as I yell about crazy italians and mexican hat dances. I call my mexican a dirty donky lover and he tells me I'm a nappy headed camel lover.
11:44 I violently throw up in the John. My aim is completely off and I end up throwing up in the urinal. . . I actually think I did this on purpose because it sounds like something I'd do.
11:50 Angel and Georgia both walk up to me with the most massive container of water. Eric follows them and tells me I'm a bad person for what I did to the john. He congratulates me for not dying of alcohol poisoning, yet.
12:00AM After party is over everyone is told to go home. We part ways to say good bye to our people and return back to Eric's truck. I go to open his back door and miss slip and slam my head into his passenger window.
12:01 Moving vehicle while I'm laying down in the back seat equals throwing up. I open the door while we're going 70 and projectile vomit all over the car behind us. Eric speeds up calling me a, "Fucking moron."
12:20 We get back home. I instantly jump into a cold shower and mouth wash the fuck out of my mouth which makes me throw up again.......
12:50 I pass out finally.
10:40 I wake up and go to use the bathroom. I take my first step into the new day by wobbling and stumbling across the bedroom. I am just as drunk as I was when I went to sleep however, my mind is finally sober.
11:00 I lay back down after chugging water and stare at the ceiling for an hour yelling at myself, "Why did I do this to myself."
Moral to the story............. No, I'm not going to tell you, take what you will from the story, it was fucking fantastic while it lasted.
