Really Ghetto ''Valley of Death''

[Tajna Rasha]

Preface
Fever does, terrible, terrible things to me. I stumbled a little dictionary if you will that helped me put these up. And I can't stop laughing. Let me know what you guys think and if you'd like to see more! Now sit back, relax, and enjoy a really ghetto retelling of one of DoA's most memorable threads. ;D

Miracle

Description: Apa is on his way towardz Aircano ta bust a cap up in tha refuges from different ghettos up in tha hood fo' realz. All protagonistz n' em wantin ta quit it is welcomed ta join.

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Dude is coming!

Miraclez heart sank as tha light up in tha holy temple fuckin started ta go damp yo. Her prayer increased up in intensitizzle as her ass clamped her folded handz hard up against her chest n' held her eyes shut. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sweat poured down tha High Priestess' grill n' her body shook violently as if there was a ghetto shatterin earthquake n' her ass was tha only one bein effected by dat shit.

Da prayer ended n' Miracle was on her handz n' knees before tha altar catchin her breath. Da horrors her ass was just shown was unlike anythang her ass has peeped before fo' realz. All em monstas tryin ta tear down tha hood, all em battles, they was leadin up ta dis straight-up moment. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch grasp her heart, it was still beatin alarmingly fast as afta a moment her ass caught her breath, recollected her muthafuckin ass n' then returned ta her feet.

"Dude is coming," Miracle repeated. It rocked up ta have done cooked up her grill pale just thankin bout dat shit. "I must warn them!" And wit dat Miracle came hustlin up of tha holy temple.

[Tajna Rasha]

Amoura

Of course her ass was wrong. Just when her ass thought her ass was bustin tha muthafuckin right choice fo' once, it turned up ta be one of tha worst her ass could have made. Not only had her ass awoken tha demon, her ass unleashed itz wrath n' it was headin fo' a hood filled wit innocent, unaware gangstas, muthafucka! Still, backin off n' goin ta warn em was probably tha dopest her ass could have done.

Dust clouded towardz tha sky as Amoura done cooked up her exit from tha desert towardz Aircano. Da bike itself was achievin speed dat couldn't have been possible by any normal means n' if Amoura done cooked up one mistake up in steering, it could result up in a nasty accident fo' realz. A long wayz behind her, a blacknizz was loomin up in n' taintin tha sky up in shadowed, wispy tendrils dat eventually took on tha form of normal, lightning-filled clouds. Gustz of wind picked up behind her n' tha demon started ta slow her vehicle down ta avoid losz of control.

Da hood was comin up fast n' her ass had outrun tha oncomin chaos fo' now--maybe therez time ta warn enough gangstas ta escape and take up arms against his muthafuckin ass. Da divine bein probably knew of her interference.

Da engine of her bike roared while her ass entered hood until her ass parked near tha temple n' shut off tha engine. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone was hustlin out, muthafucka! Maybe her ass could warn her first n' git assistizzle up in evacuation.

HEY, muthafucka! Some shiznit straight-up bad is comin dis way n' gangstas need ta leave dis place muthafuckin right now, muthafucka! They'll be capped if they stay!

[Tajna Rasha]

Miracle

"Da Arashi?"

Just utterly tha title of such a beast left a sour taste up in her grill. Yahweh had juiced it up a point ta sheezy tha lil' priestess what tha fuck it aint nuthin but exactly her ass was gettin into. Da stranger, whoz ass her ass sensed ta be of dark supanatural background but felt not a god damn thang ta warrant bein treated as a threat, was correct. They had ta evacuate should tha hood fall ta tha handz of tha Arashi. But where would they go?

"You're muthafuckin right. Our thugged-out asses have ta git tha gangstas up before he arrives. Will yo ass help, biatch? I need ta inform tha soldierz of whatz coming. Our thugged-out asses need ta prepare a defense fo' tha hood."

[Tajna Rasha]

Amoura

Yes! Amoura snapped her fingers as dopest as one could whilst bustin leather gludds. Dude holla'd a few thangs. Uhm... Da demonizz rubbed her head while tryin ta recall tha exact lyrics. It wasn't easy as fuck ta forget but thankin bout tha tense situation her mind was on other matters.

‘‘Within tha mass there is one whoz ass is tha vessel, tha harbinger, and... Amoura blinked n' was thankin as dopest as her ass could ta remember tha rest. ..."if tha Arashi do not intervene he shall bust forth his cold-ass terror tha fuck into all of tha realms.’’

Shockin dat her ass remembered dat word by word but dat was tha only portion of tha Arashiz lecture dat struck her ta tha core. Dude also holla'd...some shiznit bout if they don't leave then he'll demand a sacrifice of blood fo' tha cleansin of dis ghetto. Right back up up in yo muthafuckin ass. I can't remember all of it but I can't be too certain bout what tha fuck amount tha sacrifice could be either.

Thatz da most thugged-out of what tha fuck I could brang ta mind. Do yo ass want mah crazy ass ta assist up in evacuation and start helpin wit a defense?

[Tajna Rasha]

Aper

Talez of a dark cloud movin towardz tha holy hood from tha desert up in tha outskirtz of Jherrazad had reached tha wallz of Aircano fo' realz. At first tha gangstas believed tha Red Devil had finally done cooked up her move ta conquer tha hood yo, but it was soona than lata dat whisperz of some shiznit far mo' sinista fuckin started ta run on everyone’s lips; a wave of flames n' shadow marched, cappin' all dat stood up in itz way wit no distinction fo' man, biatch and child. Villages was razed, bodies turned ta ash… Da straight-up earth was glassed up in itz wake. No one understood what tha fuck matta of muthafuckin thang could unleash such wrath: No one survived, not cattle - not life.

And it was coming.

Da previous night had unveiled a red moon, a total eclipse, wit tha horizizzle marred wit a distant darknizz dat only seemed ta intensify n' grow as tha hours passed. Da unnatural nature of tha shade was uncovered only when it carried unto tha dizzle until tha moment it finally stretched itz tendrils, like ink up in water, over tha entirety of tha sky - blottin up tha revitalizin rayz of tha sun, as well as tha holy hood’s access ta tha heavens. Then up in tha obscuritizzle beyond tha hood walls a single playa could be peeped strutting: Despite tha distizzle, it could be easily distinguished dat he firmly gripped a sword up in each hand, wit shadows encirclin his ass like a ravenous mist n' eyes dat pierced tha near-opaque night like two singular, azure torches . Most disturbin of all however, was tha faint sapphire glow up in tha distizzle...

Beyond tha mountains a inferno followed tha footstepz of tha Arashi - ravagin tha land - leavin not a god damn thang but a crystal path behind tha scion of balizzle.

[Tajna Rasha]

Miracle

Da hybridz lyrics grew faint until they was all but silent when Miracle saw what tha fuck was on dat horizizzle yo. Her eyes looked up once darknizz overtaken tha hood n' tha warm rayz of tha sunlight no longer smiled down upon tha hoodz surface fo' realz. As her ass took a few steps forward steppin past Amoura tha priestess knew yet one muthafuckin thang was certain now up in tha grill of tha approachin storm.

There was nowhere left ta run.

Miracle quickly kept her witz bout her, havin faith up in her Lord dat he would grant em tha strength ta fight dis freshly smoked up enemy as he did so wit all tha previous supanatural forces dat threatened ta collapse they hood n' leave it up in ruin yo. Her hand ran against tha hilt of tha short sword on her thug as her ass drew it tha fuck into her muthafuckin right hand n' fuckin started a slow march towardz tha source of dis darkness. Whisperin tha word of Yahweh ta her muthafuckin ass.

"Da Lord is mah shepherd; I shall not want yo. Dude maketh mah crazy ass lie down up in chronic pastures: he leadeth mah crazy ass beside tha still watas yo. Dude restoreth mah soul: he leadeth mah crazy ass up in tha pathz of muthafuckin righteousnizz fo' his namez sake. Yea, though I strutt all up in tha valley of tha shadow of dirtnap, I will fear no evil: fo' thou art wit me; thy rod n' thy staff they comfort me."

[Tajna Rasha]

Amoura

Amoura could feel it comin closer. Fearz icy grip took a strong hold on her, bustin chills all up in her body; n' her ass dared ta turn her head ta peep tha oncomin branger of chaos fo' realz. Amouraz vampiric senses kicked up in n' her vision raced up ta peep tha Arashi bustin his way over--it was worse than her ass could imagine. Da sunz warm rays was choked up by tha black, wispy tendrils her ass had peeped up in tha straight-up cave her ass had awoken dis creature n' her ass looked ta tha darkened sky up in dismay.

There wasn't enough time ta evacuate tha hood--any n' all had ta stand n' fight him, muthafucka! So much fo' avoidin tha divine. Da oddz have been faced up in tha past n' if mo' join in, they may gotz a chizzle. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Surely there was others up in tha hood dat could contribute ta standin against this.

Da hybrid took note of Miracle drawin her weapon n' her ass removed tha big-ass sword dat her ass had strapped ta her back. To protec' dis sacred ground, tha fight will have ta be taken ta his ass n' dis time backin up wasn't a option fo' realz. Amoura followed up in suit, silver eyes fixed ahead. No lyrics had ta be holla'd on her part.

All they can do now be all dat they can.

[Tajna Rasha]

Solomon

Nowhere ta run, nowhere ta hide. Now was tha time ta act and lose all dat yo ass hit dat shizzle ta gain fo' realz. Amongst tha defendaz of tha hood was a tall playa up in silver armor wit a blue cloak over it yo. His eyes looked around ta tha darknizz coverin tha holy hood as he reached fo' his sword n' shouted up wit a boomin voice ta tha soldierz of Aircano. "Form a perimeter, muthafucka! Git tha refugees tha fuck into tha temple where Yahweh magic can protec' them!" His voice carried authoritizzle as tha soldiers up in white all ran ta escort tha innocent tha fuck into tha temple where they had faith they Lord would protec' em from tha evil on itz way. One of tha soldiers stopped near tha knight n' looked up at him, amazed at his confidence up in tha sight of dirtnap.

"Sire, do yo ass straight-up think our crazy-ass asses can combat dis enemy, biatch? Look what tha fuck it do outside tha walls!" "Dizzy was only a lil pimp when he slayed tha giant yo. Have faith n' our crazy-ass asses will succeed. Now go!" Da soldier ran off n' tha knight moved ta join Miracle n' Amoura up in they war effort against tha unknown entitizzle dat dared challenge them.

[Tajna Rasha]

Sparda

"Well, yo ass seem most informed as ta what tha fuck be happenin..."

Steppin tha fuck into tha unfoldin mess, calm as could be, came Sparda yo. His eyes was upon Amoura, indicatin dat his thugged-out lil' passin remark was pimped up at her; up in his stupid-ass gluddd handz was Luce n' Ombra. Imposin as tha incomin threat was, he had deigned ta reserve his Devil Arms fo' if n' when they juice proved necessary yo. Dude looked as if tha darknizz dat threatened tha hood didn't concern his ass up in tha slightest fo' realz. Every Muthafucka whoz ass knew him, however, would know dat dis facade of nonchalizzle was merely a expression of his confidence.

"Care ta share, Amoura?" he axed tha vampiress, absently twirlin Luce around his cold-ass trigger finger. Nothang ta be done now but wait a moment n' peep what tha fuck defences was mustered against tha comin storm.

[Tajna Rasha]

Aper

Step by step, tha wallz of tha citadel grew before tha Arashi. Beyond it laid his objective; tha intrudaz - tha perpetratorz of chaos - all unwittingly masqueradin as simple refugees. None of em could understand tha thangs they had put up in motion by settin foot up in a ghetto dat wasn’t theirs: They did not belong, n' up in return they presence affected tha straight-up fabric of existence. They had ta leave and be erased by his hand. Part of his crazy-ass mind had hoped tha biatch he had allowed ta live n' busted as a warnin would be able ta settle dis crisis before is intervention… but mortals was impulsive n' foolish. Reason would tell em ta protec' tha innocents, even up in grill of they own demise, thankin one’s hand was always moved by principle n' justice. Fate possessed notion of neither - it simply acted.

All whoz ass would stand up in itz way would perish, even if it meant tha ghetto itself.

Dropz of rizla fuckin started fallin from tha sky before gradually growin tha fuck into a violent torrent. Lightnin pierced tha night, castin ominous shadows all up in tha labyrinthine wallz of tha hood. Da clash of thunder was heard soon after, bustin a shatterin tremor all up in tha earth announcin tha approach of tha sentinel.

[Tajna Rasha]

Miracle

Miracle primarily focus was on tha muthafuckin right hand of destruction n' chaos. Da single dark bein dat wished ta brang on some similar fate as tha Lord laid down ta tha ghettoz of Sodom n' Gomorrah yo. Her eyes narrowed up in tha darknizz direction as nature fuckin started ta drop a rhyme itz opinion of tha eventz transpirin up in tha ever turnin wheel of history fo' realz. A storm had further tha fear wrappin itself tightly around tha hood like a serpent around a human body but Miracle flossed no fear over tha intervention of nature fo' her ass served a juice pimped outa than dat shit.

At tha command of tha brave knight tha guardz wit they polearms formed a perimeta around her posizzle but even then her ass could feel tha fear up in they heartz n' tha doubt up in they mind. Da roarz of thunder up in tha literal storm alongside tha one by tha Arashi only further they fears n' doubtz but there was no room fo' either. If they was ta hold victory over tha Arashi then they needed ta have full faith up in tha Lord n' they abilitizzles as warriors. It was time ta remind em whoz ass had command over tha storm.

"And there arose a pimped out storm of wind, n' tha waves beat tha fuck into tha shizzle, so dat it was now full."

Her voice was barely a whisper.

"And he was up in tha hinder part of tha shizzle, asleep on a pillow: n' they awake him, n' say unto him, Master, carest thou not dat our crazy-ass asses perish?"

Miracle voice grew louder so dat tha surroundin allies could hear her recite tha word of they Dogg. Until finally her voice carried across Aircano wit such juice it was all too obvious dat her ass acted as a vessel fo' Yahweh his dirty ass as even tha Arashi would be able ta hear her now, nahmeean?

"And he arose, n' rebuked tha wind, n' holla'd unto tha sea, Peace, be still!"

Da rain, thunder n' lightin all came ta a complete quit tha moment her ass shouted up "peace be still" tha fuck into tha sky.

"And tha wind ceased, n' there was a pimped out calm."

Miracle then turned her head ta tha doubters.

"Why is ye so fearful, biatch? how tha fuck is it dat ye have no faith?"

[Tajna Rasha]

Amoura

Quietude settled on tha already distraught hybrid. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sparda always caught on quick but he didn't give a fuck of tha details fo' realz. Amoura swallowed n' looked at him--guilt n' fear was etched up in her visage. It was dopest ta just admit her careless mistake rather than die --if her ass do die--with tha guilt on her shoulders.

It's...itz mah fault. Biatch finally admitted n' diverted her eyes ta Apa again ta watch his ass come closer. Da nightmares was returnin full force n' he was tha source. I accidentally woke his ass up. I was a coward--I didn't stand n' fight his muthafuckin ass. I decided ta run n' warn everyone of his coming. I didn't make it up in time ta help others dat have already died.

Amoura looked ta her sword n' turned it so her ass could stare at her drenched reflection. Mo' had joined up in dis stand so there was no need ta feel dat all hope was lost. Will her ass revert ta cowardice again and resume her goal ta help, biatch?

I won't run dis time. Amoura glizzled back at Sparda, Yo Ass was muthafuckin right, back at Devil May Cry. Da hybrid pointed her sword up in Aperz direction n' narrowed her eyes up in determination. I won't be powerless anymo'. Put yo muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel this!

[Tajna Rasha]

Solomon

"So itz a standoff then?" Da knight drew tha pimped out white long sword from his sheath n' now gripped tha hilt tightly around his bangin muthafuckin right hand yo. His eyes looked up tha fuck into tha air bein covered by darknizz n' like Miracle he remained unshaken up in tha grill of tha storm dat acted ta announce tha enemyz arrival. Those whoz ass feared Dogg had not a god damn thang ta fear while em whoz ass did not should fear everythang dat existed around them. It was Miracle whoz ass would quit tha storm n' dis knight would protec' tha ho wit his thuglife as would tha rest of tha hoodz defenses n' tha legend whoz ass brandish tha flavaz of silver n' violent.

"Hear mah crazy ass now, beast. I be tha head defender of these walls, named afta tha wise Mack Solomon, muthafucka! Turn back now and be cut down by mah blade!" Dude held up his sword n' took a single step forward bustin point not ta stand up in front of yo, but beside tha lil pimp whoz ass was tha closest muthafuckin thang ta Lord Yahweh on dis entire continent. "Yo Crazy-Ass effortz ta intimidate our asses wit yo' mere presence aint gonna succeed. Da fury n' wrath of tha Lord thy Dogg awaitz yo ass should yo ass come any closer!"

[Tajna Rasha]

Sparda

"Itz mah fault."

At these lyrics, Sparda merely blinked all up in tha vampiress n' listened ta her explanation. Whatever dis bein was, her ass had apparently awoken it n' set it on itz rampage towardz tha hood. What worried his ass most, however, was her notion dat he was tha source of her recurrin nightmares...

...Because it was Veran whoz ass had first brought em upon her muthafuckin ass.

"Nightmares... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So dis bein has some kind of connection ta Veran, as worryin as dat thought is..." Da demon holstered his stupid-ass glocks - enough of his wild lil' flippant tough playa facade - n' laid a comfortin hand on Amouraz shoulder. "Don't blame yo ass. Facin it dis close ta tha hood be a risk, yes yo, but one our crazy-ass asses may have had ta take regardless. Letz just be thankful our crazy-ass asses all can stand against it together, n' dat yo ass didn't risk throwin yo' thuglife away up in single combat where no one could have come ta yo' aid."

Dude had had ta lean towardz tha vampiress ta make his dirty ass heard over Miraclez bellowin recital of scripture yo. Dude could feel tha immense holy juice dat flowed all up in tha child, a surge of hallowed strength risin from seemingly nowhere; her ass had indeed been endowed wit pimped outa juice by her god up in order ta keep tha storm at bay yo. Her guard captain, indirectly introducin his dirty ass as Solomon, drew his blade n' took his thugged-out lil' place all up in tha lil' priestess' side.

"Our thugged-out asses should go up n' hook up it before it getz much closer," tha demon piped up from behind Miracle. "Da further away from tha hood our crazy-ass asses can keep tha fighting, tha less thuggy it will be. Yo Crazy-Ass orders, Miracle...?"

[Tajna Rasha]

Aper

Apa paid no heed ta tha lyricz of tha child, as much juice as they held, n' continued his crazy-ass march towardz tha hood gates under a silent shroud. Da peace was all but delusory; a bright light blinded tha mass before a ear-splittin dissonizzle exploded up in tha sky, shatterin tha fragile serenitizzle dat had established itself like a hammer upon a mirror. When tha flash had receded however, all eyes had returned ta tha Arashi whom now stood all up in tha straight-up gatez of Aircano, faced by a barricade of spears n' blades.

Dude stopped.

Da faceless one turned his stupid-ass gaze ta all em present; tha mask’s burnin stars lookin past flesh n' bone - carvin tha soul. They dropped upon tha opalescent blade of Miracle, followin itz length all tha way up ta tha hand, n' from tha hand ta tha master; tha one whoz ass would guard her faith even against tha gods. For a long-ass moment, not a god damn thang happened. Were it not fo' tha movin shadows across his wild lil' form, Apa would have surely been mistaken fo' a statue, n' tha lack of response offered no respite of tension. Faintly, like tha suddenly distant rumble of thunder a disheartened pitch could be heard, then like a wave it crashed upon tha shorez of tha mortal’s minds. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Screams fo' realz. A fucked up chorus even mo' horrifyin than tha hellgate itself boomed over tha holy hood. Da last moment of countless beings echoed all up in every last muthafuckin single funk present, a eternitizzle of dirtnap up in a instant… then one could realize, they was but tha lyricz of tha Arashi.

‘‘Da war amongst tha celestial kingdom shall not be contained; tha lil playaz of playa shall be engulfed up in tha flood of conflict, n' all hope shall be lost unto them.’’ A voiceless rasp whispered ta they ears, tha phonemez of tha lyrics barely distinguishable from what tha fuck seemed ta be tha criez of a mass. Even afta tha lyrics had ended, tha lamentz was still straight-up audible. ‘‘A lil pimp will cradle tha seed of destruction up in his breast as tha heart of playa falls under tha shadow.’’ It bellowed. Da lyrics was mind-rakin ta tha crowd yo, but ta tha soldiers standin guard around tha creature, tha sheer heat of tha reaper’s juice was like a invisible hand dat clutched at they throat, preventin tha air from penetratin they lungs.

‘‘Fate shall make war upon tha heavens, n' tha heavens shall gird themselves as fo' battle. Da muthafuckin righteous shall fall upon tha wicked... n' lay siege ta tha straight-up gatez of tha crib of tha creator. It shall take peace from mankind n' loose pimped out destruction upon tha ghetto. Right back up up in yo muthafuckin ass.’’