Stargazing [Reira]

[Saasha]

Kissira remained silent, listening intently to the tale. When he was finished, she closed her eyes and let the words soak into her mind. So she had been right. He had been through plenty. It was a common thing for her to run across beings that had had harsh lives all their growing up, but very few of those had been war related. Rather, very few had actually been in active combat. "It would seem as if you have many things that you wish you could go back and change, and personally I wouldn't blame you. When I first laid eyes on you, do you remember how cagey I was at first? That was because I saw in your eyes that your experiences were far beyond your age. It would seem I was right."

By this time she had composed herself and shaken of the embarrassment of her childish tear. That had hardly been the time to do that. Kissira mulled his story over in her head, "But surely there is even a bright spot among all of this. There usually is. It may not be right under your nose, and it may not reveal itself untill years down the road and sometimes it is missed completely, but it is always there. Where is yours?"

[Kira Yamato]

Kira simply nodded in response to her comment. There was a lot he wished he could change, and yet it was all important to who he was now. Kira thought about it for a moment. ”When I recovered I made a decision. I wasn’t going to fight for orders or because I was told. I would fight for what was right, even if I had too alone.” he said. Of course he hadn’t been alone. Others had joined him as well, one in particular stood out. ”Lucas and Cagalli.” he said answering her unsaid question.

”I found out I had a twin sister.” he said. The reason they had been separated was another story. One that wasn’t exactly related to the question she was asking. ”Near the end of the war before the final battle I found out. About that, and Lucas and I…." he said trailing off. They had feelings for one another. "It's grown since then.” he followed up explaining it a bit more. ”During that battle neither side held back. The current Chairman thinking that Coordinators were an evolved species and Blue Cosmos thinking they were an abomination. Nukes were introduced back into the war. As a result Genesis was introduced. It ended up being pointed at the Earth with the intention of wiping out a third of the population. The one pulling the strings trying to ensure that war would trigger anew. I had no choice, but to take his life.” he said trailing off remember all the life's that had been lost in that fight. Most of the main forces on both sides had fought and many had died.

That summed up the first war. ”In a way he succeeded, but it would take two more years before another war broke out. Another one which I ended up involved in.” he said slowly. However there wasn’t as much to say about the second war fortunately. ”That chairman had noble intentions, but bad actions. He was trying to put in place the Destiny Plan, a plan that every person’s future would be decided by their genes. No war, and no conflict, but it would take away a person’s right to choose. In the end he was killed by someone else causing an end to that war as well.” he said. He hadn’t killed him, he still wasn’t sure if he could have if it came to it, but someone else had already made that decision.

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Key: Person to post next
Song: Fields of Hope by Rie Tanaka
Key: Thoughts; Dialogue
Notes: The Night of Learn and Share

[Saasha]

Indeed. A mix of good and bad. A mix that often lead to prove ones fortitude and character. To rely and base ones actions and thoughts off of the bad, or off of the good. This one seemed to come out on the light end of things though his story didn't portray it. She nodded to show that she understood.

"I suppose it is time to spill my story." She inhaled, gathering her thoughts before she spoke, "As I said before, I was a slave. A bastard child of a slave woman on the planet Naar Shaddah. When upon turning four I was sold to a man named Duke Sirus. A wealthy owner of an estate on a nearby forest planet. Needless to say the woman was glad to be rid of me."

"Before going into Duke's services, I was taken to a research facitlity where I underwent a series of experiments as a guinea pig for genetic rearrangement, a frightening and agonizing experience to say the least. This was done because dearest Duke liked... variety in his slaves. When it was all said and done I was able to change every aspect of myself save for my bones. My hair, my skin, even my personality and mindset. I was a chameleon, a changling of sorts." She looked down at her hand as she spoke. She kinda of missed that ability.

"Only a year after arriving at Duke's estate, I learned my true reason for being there. To be an outlet for his... urges. And he used me well." Her eyes narrowed a bit and her hands tightened when the words rolled off of her tongue. "But it didn't stop there, he eventually began taking out his anger on me as well. Beatings and torture were a part of my everyday regimens. And in the evenings- well you can guess." Day after day she would cower in her room, trembling in fear at every foot fall outside her door, every creak in the floorboards.

"A few years down the road I was put under the watchful eye of a gaurd due to my frequent attempts to run away. I was fourteen at this time. That gaurd was the only one to show me any kindness whatsoever in that mansion. Funny enough, he was not much older than I and as fate would have it, I fell inlove with him and he with me. That didn't last long, however. Duke found out and had him slaughtered before my eyes.

"That was the beginning of my downfall. That very night I finally snapped. All of the sadistic and masochistic natures that Duke had branded into my mind came to full light. I lured him into the woods surrounding the estate and took great pleasure spilling his blood all over those forsaken woods. Condensing fourteen years of agony and fear into three days. He was not found in one piece." Though her words were harsh, her tone was completely calm and serene. To her, though the memories were painful, Duke had long since ceased to affect her.

"I was eighteen at that time. fourteen years of being under his boot and it took me that long to get out." She chuckled a bit and shook her head as if scolding herself. "I spent the next two years around the galaxy, still not satisfied with my revenge. I wanted more. Luckily, Duke wasn't stingy with his property, and so I had a few other targets to take out. Until they were all rotting in the ground, I felt I wouldn't be satisfied, I wouldn't be truly free."

[Kira Yamato]

Kira listened as she started. He paused as she got to the research facility. So they were the same in that regard. Simply modified for another’s benefit. Kira listened to her speaking noticing her fists clench as she spoke. Even now the memories must be painful for her. He hadn’t meant to bring up painful memories, far from it in fact. Kira nodded again when she started talking about happened in the evenings. He could imagine.

Kira’s eyes softened when she spoke about the person she loved dying. It was something he was similar with. It’s what had happened with Flay. Kira blinked as she started to explain the path she had taken. Even after she stopped speaking he remained silent for a good while before finally speaking. Waltefeld’s words echoed in his mind. Everyone had a reason and yet no one did. ”It’s natural for someone to want to lash out when their treated wrongly, to want to get revenge on that person. It’s the hardest part of escaping that cycle.” he said. He wasn’t saying he approved of the actions. What he was saying however is he understood what exactly it was to have those emotions, to be overcome with those desires.

That was the old her. Who she was wasn’t nearly as important as who she was now or who she was trying to be. Just from talking to her so far he could tell there had been almost an entire turnaround from that. To try to do better, if not for her sake, then for her kids.

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Key: Person to post next
Song: Fields of Hope by Rie Tanaka
Key: Thoughts; Dialogue
Notes: The Night of Learn and Share

[Saasha]

Kissira nodded to the truth of the statement, he was right. "I followed a few rumors to Coruscant, rumors that told of the freedom that they could give to those within their ranks. At that time I had no idea that I was Force sensitive, but even so I went to them. But what I saw disappointed me. They would not have freed me, they would have suppressed my emotions and turned me into one of their mindless drones. Hypocritical fools, claiming to be the voice of freedom and to want what was best for the galaxy. No those Jedi were nothing but tamer Sith."

"In any case, I was so deep into my recently emerged darker side that it sickened me to even be near the pathetic creatures. I didn't just want freedom, however. Killing Duke the way that I did revealed to me that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed hearing the screams of pain, the hot blood dripping over my fingers... I loved it." It was here that her tone dropped to a husky whisper, the sensations that had fed and fueled her so long ago touching her skin once more. But not once did she even pay them heed, they no longer held the luster that they once had in her eyes.

"Although they were hypocritical, even that was below them. They would never allow me to even leave the temple had they found out. So I left during one of their missions. It just so happened that a certain Sith had been enraged by the actions of the current Dark Lord and so had gone in search of some poor Jedi to wreak havoc upon. Guess who stumbled across?"

"Well, he did just as he had wanted, he took out of all his anger on me." She chuckled a bit. "The torture had reawakened my subservient nature, so and when he told me that he was now my master and I his apprentice, I made no objections. He promised me freedom and power if I would stay by his side. And unlike most of the other Sith who kept hollow promises of power or ones they couldn't make good on, my master delivered. From that day on, for the next year or so, we fought side by side. Although at the time he was in no higher rank than the other Sith Masters, his voice was ultimately the once that was followed on the battle field, and that was one of the primary reasons I stayed with him. It was attractive to me. Under him I got to endulge in so much bloodshed including the deaths of the other three that my former master had shared me with."

"Well, time passed and he and I began to grow fond of each other and not just as master and apprentice. To make the story shorter, I was taken from him and my affections for him were revealed- he didn't refuse me. We kept our affections secret from the rest of the Sith. Quite a feat if I do say so myself."

"At this time, for some reason, my darker side had begun to wane and decline. I imagine it was partially thanks to one of the only Jedi who was actually worthy of the title, one I had had dealings with in my short time with them. And that was the start of my healing."

"In time, it was revealed that I had become laden with children- his children. It was my deepest fear that he would not want them... Children within the Sith were a burden and a hindrance and a weakness. And at that time the Sith were deep into dissension and my master had all but disowned them. When he found out that I was expecting, he immediately proposed that we leave for good. Within the Sith was no way to raise children, especially with the way things were headed. So we left, throwing off the darkside and both of us becoming neutral. But as we left Coruscant, we became trapped in a wormhole and got sent to another dimension. The dimension in which my children were born and I married my master. My husband now." Her face lit up now with pride and love at that particular memory. "He was right. The Sith had given me freedom. They had given me him, and he freed me."

Kissira rubbed her thumbs together lightly in thought, her shoulders jumped a bit as she let out a small huff in amusement, "Seems we have more in common than perhaps was thought."

[Kira Yamato]

Kira just listened as she spoke. He smiled a bit at her last words. Not because he found her story to be amusing, but because he had to admit she was right. ”It seems so.” he said pausing for a moment. Oddly he was at peace now. After everything that happened he didn't mind that he had just slipped his life story to someone he had just met only today. He was actully perfect fine with that as another wave lapped at the dock. A smile was on his face now as he looked out over the ocean looking up at the moon. And for once in a long time everything felt, calm.

[Saasha]

Kissira turned her back on the ocean, resting it on the rail along with her elbows. Her mischievous smile returning, she regarded Kira with half slatted eyes, "'Just a person from another realm that was dragged here too.' huh? Liar." She laughed good-naturedly. Teaching him was going to be interesting.

"By the way, Kira. Remember those grey wisps within you? They're gone. The light is pure white now. Not only that, but it is pulsing. If you want to draw out your sensitivity to the Force, there is no time like the present to try. I do believe it thinks you are ready for it."

[Kira Yamato]

Kira just smiled at her comment. ”You know to a point that statements still true.” he said smiling. He wasn’t saying it to try to deny it, but he had been cautious then as had she. So it wasn’t entirely uncalled for then. Kira blinked. It took him a few seconds before he finally caught up on what she was saying. That thing she had showed him earlier. He had it now.

He frowned a little at her words. ”It’s pulsing?” he asked slowly. He was still pretty new to most of this, so it didn’t make a lot of sense to him hearing these terms. It believed he was ready? He supposed it made since it was a living thing, but it was rather late, but part of him was excited at the prospect of beginning now. ”Depends on if you’d rather get some sleep.” he added. Truth be told he probably needed some, but then again he could also do well without it.

[Saasha]

"For me sleep is a pastime, I don't do it often. The way I meditate lets me get all the rest I need." Two of the nearby crates floated from their resting spots and approached, one settling behind Kira and the other behind Kissira. She sat on the top of hers with her legs crossed and laid her saber beside her, "Shall we begin now?" If she was judging him right , it shouldn't take too long for him to at least feel the Force tonight.

[Kira Yamato]

Kira blinked as she spoke. ”You don’t need sleep?” he asked her slowly. He seemed to think about it for a few seconds watching her pull the crates out with the Force. ”Would it be something you might be able to teach?” he asked a bit curious about it. He was sure it was further along than he was right now, but then again no harm in asking right? Kira nodded sitting on the box opposite her letting out a breath as he listened to the ocean. Time to find out just how hard this would be.

[Saasha]

"Old war habits are hard to kick. I do need sleep, but nearly as often as most people." She said simply. It was time to see if she had lost her touch or not. "The first thing that needs to be done is to have you feel the Force for yourself. You have seen it's effects, now it is time for you to feel it. Close your eyes, quiet your mind, and just... be. That peace you felt a few moments ago-" She gave a knowing smile and his crate picked up and came to rest flush with hers.

"Feel it flow over you. Feel it flow through you, through your arms, your legs, your veins, your skin. Let it sink into your mind and let there be nothing else but that peace and me voice..." And so it began.

[Kira Yamato]

So she had some she had developed as well, but hers were likely worse he assumed. Kira took a breath as she spoke about quieting his mind. He closed his eyes as she spoke. He fortunately didn’t notice as she picked his crate up. That peace of mind he had earlier was still with him, yet his mind wasn’t quiet and he tried to get it to quiet for about a minute. He wasn’t going to give up, but maybe the problem is that he was trying. He relaxed both his body and mind this time. Just like a trance. Soon, for once his head was devoid of constant thoughts running through it. He just heard her voice and the ocean.

[Saasha]

Kissira could feel him relax and free himself and retracted her aura close to herself, he didn't need anything distracting him. "Now, feel that peace. It will feel like a touch, but not necessarily a palpable one. Try to feel what I told you. It flows though your body, around your head, your torso, your very existence. What does it feel like?"

While he focused on the peace, her focus was father away. Reaching out with the Force to reestablish her full connection with it. Fucking wormhole... it severed some of her connection and had not yet caught up to her.

[Kira Yamato]

Kira just listened not trying to think it through, just trying to act. He felt something, almost as if it was just out of his reach, but it wasn’t bad. Perhaps, warm and inviting. ”It’s warm. Just like something out of reach.” he said his words echoing how he actually felt about all of this. He tried to relax a bit more taking a few minutes to get into such a state, but then it was only this feeling and Kissira’s voice. ”I’m not sure how to describe it.” he said. Suddenly it seemed much bigger. Infinite in fact, but yet, it seemed small enough that he wouldn’t threaten to shallow everything.

[Saasha]

"I want you to let go of it. Don't hold on to it too tightly or it will slip away, just let it come to you. Let it flow through you like a wave. It ebbs and flows. It gathers and then it leaves. Now, look for the light, that spark that you saw back in the garage. That orb in the center- focus on it. Keep that peace around you, but focus that peace on that orb. Fill it so much that it bursts and breaks. And when it does, bid what comes out to gather to you. To fill your form. To aid you."