This Looks Familiar (open)

[caboose]

His head was pounding. The last thing he remembered was leaving the icy mountain with the brand new member of the Blue Team: Agent Washington! Church was gone, but so was Tex and Tex was very mean. They had hardly arrived back at Valhalla Outpost when everything started shaking and he blacked out.

He opened his eyes and everything was dark. "I can't see! I'm blind! I can't be blind! How will I know it is nap time if I can't see the clock!" Caboose made an attempt to put his hands in front of his face but soon realized that he couldn't move his arms.

"Oh I forgot. I'm inside my armor. There is no power and that is why I can't see. Now, how to make it power back up? Oh this always happens and I can never remember the correct phrase."

He thought long and hard for what seemed like hours, trying out every phrase from 'Open Says Me' to 'Activate' to "Make it so' but nothing worked. Then he remembered. He cleared his throat, "On."

Suddenly he was blinded for a second time as lights started to flash on his HUD. Armor Status and motion tracker always provided a distraction for him because of the blinking lights and such so he turned them off. He was stiff and it hurt a lot, but he sat up.

Looking around his new home, he saw that he was surrounded by woods. "Wow! This looks familiar! This looks like the same woods that I went through on my adventure to save the world!" He heard the unmistakable crunching sound of someone walking up. "Better hide. If I run into myself in the past, I could cause a parade! Er, uh, pandadox! Where's Church when I need him? He would know what I mean.."

Caboose his behind a tree, a small one, in bright blue armor and waited for the stranger to come into view. He hoped that his past self wouldn't see or recognize him.

[rick]

"Trees..." Richard pinched his chin between this thumb and forefinger whilst his yellow eyes surveyed the area. It was full of life; cute, fuzzy critters were happily joined with their families, birds were singing, shimmering water flowed over smooth rocks and the sun peeked through the forest vegetation. The rays were warm, gentle and Richard spread out his arms to take in the beauty.

Until his hands were engulfed in flames with a Voosh!. In a booming voice, he exclaimed: "BURN IN RIGHTEOUS FIRE!" The fire rose higher and higher from his fingers to reach the leaves but abruptly stopped, "Wait a minute. My fire is never 'righteous'."

Richard prodded at his masked lips, squinted his eyes, and something in his mind lit up to revise his statement. The fires returned, brighter and hotter than ever, and he once more shouted: "BURN IN UNRIGHTEOUS FIRE!" And the destruction of the forest began whilst he hummed to himself.

"Da, da, da, da, da." With each "doo doo doo doo" he set a squirrel on fire. "I should write a musical."

[caboose]

Caboose cocked his head. "It sounds like someone is singing. And cooking! Doesn't he know that cooking while singing can make you blind!" Whatever he was cooking he did smell pretty tasty. And he was a good singer.

Caboose chanced a peak and peered out from behind his tree. The man was tall and thin, wearing black robes. He was kind of spooky looking. Wow, I looked weird back then. Wonder what happened to my armor? He noticed the fire emitting from the guys hands. Must have been during the time that O'Malley lived in my helmet. I wonder if I can still make fire pop out of my hands?

Caboose raised his hands, concentrated really hard and started to shake them really hard. He forgot that he was trying to be quiet and stay hidden. "It's...not...working! Whoosh! Whoosh! Firehands, I said whoosh! Why...won't...you..light!" Caboose gave up and walked out from behind the tree.

Breathing heavily he walked towards the younger version of himself. "Hey, Younger Caboose. I didn't forget exactly, this is just a test to see if you remember how, but what are we supposed to say to make our hands into Firehands?"

Caboose waited patiently. "Oh no! I forgot about the pandas! I've killed them all by talking to you!"

[rick]

Who on earth was this nut job? Richard ceased burning the forest and all the critters. Some unfortunate rabbits raced by, squealing while they were burning alive, but the warlock didn't pay attention to this delight. Richard raised his right hand, "The proper term is fwoosh! Not woosh. And I am not a younger version of a person in a suit of armor that not even a mother could learn to love."

Richard's hands were lit again and he waved them around while his voice boomed again, "I am Richard! Chief Warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of the Thirteen Hells, Master of the Bones, Emperor of the Black, Lord of the Undead, and mayor of a little village up the coast. It's quite scenic in the spring! Oh and I am also..." Richard struck a pose, "Lord of the Dance. None of my titles have anything entailing caboose."

Wait, dead pandas?! Richard looked delighted and clasped his hands together in sheer glee, "Dead pandas? Where?! Are they on fire? I love flaming pandas. Ever heard one scream?" He lowered his voice to a whisper, "It's the sound of extinction in the making. Now, speaking of which..."

He pointed to a scorched squirrel at his feet, "Will you be eating that? I'm quite famished."

[caboose]

Caboose put a hand to the back of his helmet and paused in thought. Well, he stared at the ground anyways. "So you are not me and I am not you. Wait, who are you again? You said Lord of the Dance? Is it dancing time?" Caboose starting shaking his butt and humming a little tune.

While dancing he said, "Oh, and the pandas aren't dead. If you aren't me and I'm not you then the pandas are still alive somewhere. They are still doing their plotting." Gesturing towards the squirrel. "Church always yelled at me for taking food from strangers, so I'm gonna pass."

He continued talking,"Yeah see there was this time that I took some food from this yellow guy Gryff and it turned out that those snack cakes were bad for you and Church was angry."

Caboose jumped up like he just remembered something. "Wait, you said you were dead. Church was dead also! How many ghosts can there be, although technically church was a computer program and even though he got stuck in a device thingy I am sure he could have escaped somehow. You are Church! Church I have missed you!" Caboose wrapped the not Caboose maybe Church who called himself Richard in a large bear hug. And Caboose was very strong.

[rick]

"No, it is not dancing time. It shall be the time to dance when I say it is." Richard scooped up the charred squirrel, lifted his mask and shoved the remains into his mouth. Between crunches and munches, he did his best to continue conversation with this strange fellow. He was never one for manners nor did he care if his habits disgusted others. "No dead pandas? You're such a killjoy. I half expected you to be the source of their extinction." Richard swallowed his meal and decided it would be best to continue on his journey. Looney here may spoil more fun for him.

That spoiling came in the form of a tight hug that snapped his back in two. Richard hung limp in his arms, at least his lower body did while the rest swung helplessly. "Is this the part where I yell 'Stranger danger! I need an adult!'?" Richard blinked his yellow eyes, snapped his fingers, and a woman forged in fire circulated around them.

"FIRE LADY! STRANGER DANGER! I NEED AN ADULT!"

INFIDEL! It screeched and started pounding its fiery fists against Caboose's helmet.

[caboose]

"Oh look more friends!" Caboose seemed totally oblivious to the fiery pounding he was taking. The suit, afterall, was designed to handle a lot more than that. Inside his helmet, Caboose was smiling. "You are a very special friend indeed. You introduce me to Fire Lady and you are the first person I have met since waking up back in time. I will call you, uh, what was your name again?"

This wasn't at all weird for Caboose. His friends always seemed to give him the toughest and worst jobs. Also, they tried to kill him on a regular basis. O'Malley, Washington, Tex, even Sheila. They all, at one time or another, failed to kill him. Now this person, who wasn't himself or Church. What a shame..

"So, Mr.CampfireMan, am I anywhere near Blood Gulch? My friends are going to miss me. What if they have nap time without me!?"

[rick]

"Fire Lady, you are terrible at rescues. Go away." Fire Lady screeched and dissipated into a pile of ash, leaving Richard still hanging in halves. Did his backbone tear through his clothes? He couldn't see it protruding out of his robe so that situation was well taken care of. For now. Maybe if caboose here were to just let him go...

"Do I really have to make my introductions again? The list is long and most don't live to hear it a second time." This thing was so empty headed, he may not register it as a threat. "I said my name is Richard. I am not Mr. CampfireMan and my fire always consumes camps! And I do not know of this Blood Gulch but I would appreciate being let go lest I take serious consideration in having the woodland creatures eat your face."

On cue, all the animals that were burnt to their skeletons rose up and crawled to caboose. They'd groan, but they lacked vocal chords, so the grinding of their bones had to be enough.

[caboose]

"Sorry. Uh, Fireguy, could you please tell your friends to get off of me now? They are starting to scare me.." Caboose was used to weird things like time travel and ghosts, but zombie woodland creatures was new.

"So, Mr.Smores, where exactly are we? Because if I don't get back to base then Agent Washington might be wondering where I am and I don't want him to worry. Not about me. In fact I don't even know how I got here. I was at base and then a rumble and I woke up here in a dead suit of armor that took me a long time to turn back on and then you showed up."

"Also, why is it that you are burning down the forest..." Caboose started to ramble on about the little furry creatures, those with their skeletons still inside their bodies and how they wouldn't have homes.That he started about how he didn't even have a home so he couldn't offer them a place to stay and that made him sad. He also started talking about other things that made him sad like now knowing where he was and kittens with spikes.

[rick]

"I thought you liked making friends. Let them make friends with your face and I'm sure you won't regret it." And if there's a face he'll scorch it. "I said my name is Richard and we are in Moon Valley." The warlock's back snapped and fused together, making his body whole again. Having a severed spine made moving difficult and if there was one thing Richard liked doing, it was moving. "Why am I burning the forest? Is that even a real question?"

Richard curled his fingers in and the Fwoosh returned so he could resume his earlier task: burning down the woods. "Because it's pretty and I like burning things pretty. No, I like to burn..." He raised his fists to the sky and shouted: "ALL THE THINGS!"

While Caboose rambled on and on about subjects that were meaningless in Richard's eyes, the warlock ran around the clearing and ignited the trees. More woodland creatures were being burned and joined in the small, bony army of mindless minions. Richard had to be building a small army but the purpose was only known to the mastermind.

[caboose]

"Well yes I do like making friends, but I have a one dead friend policy. Church would be jealous." Caboose did what he could to knock the skeletons off and followed the strange fireman.

"So Richard, where did you get your fire powers? Can I have some too?" Caboose followed the man while he carelessly burned down the forest. "So we are on the moon? In a valley on the moon? How can I breathe on the moon? How did I get on the moon? Did you bring me here?"

As soon as the questions popped into Caboose's mind, they came out his mouth. He wasn't intentionally trying to annoy the man, but it probably came off that way. The fire was hot, and it was still unclear to Caboose, and it would remain that way for a long time, why he was following the man. Maybe it was his lack of knowledge about the area or his lack of knowledge in general. Maybe it was boredom or his need for a thrill. Whatever it was he was ready for it. "Are we there yet?"

[rick]

"Oh nonsense." Richard scooped up a rabbit, stared into its beady eyes and instead of lighting it up, he held it in his white, bony hands, patted it and continued strolling through the forest to burn it down, "You can never have too many dead friends. I have an entire village of loyal, undead subjects. Wait, not friends but that'll do." He continued patting the rabbit like it had been his friend through the entire ordeal of eradicating this place.

"No. Only I can have the Fwoosh! And it took me hundreds of years to master these powers. I should know! I was there melting faces." The rabbit looked at him and Richard stared back, "No, he's not a minion. He's like some lost puppy and no I'm not going to feed it." Richard stroked the critter's soft, warm ears, "No I didn't bring you here and we won't be arriving anytime soon. Because...we are here. We are in a place called Moon Valley. Now..."

He held up the rabbit, "Carrot?"

[caboose]

"Um, no. No carrots. I do not like them. Orange reminds me of Red team." Caboose stayed close to the man person thing. "I know you said we were in Moon Valley, but where is Moon Valley? Are we on Earth?"

Caboose took his pistol out. It was nice to have something in his hand, he never knew what to do if he wasn't holding anything. "So Richard, how did you get here? Did you get brought here to? Or do you live here? Is Moon Valley your home?"

Caboose felt a little strange. His mind was all tingley, like that feeling you get when you lose feeling in a hand or foot and it feels like someone was poking a thousand needles into them. That is how Caboose's mind felt. Like it was waking up or something. Suddenly, he was thinking about things differently. Maybe it had something to do with the blackout?

[rick]

"I was talking to long ears here, not you." Richard put the rabbit down and it hopped away, careful to avoid the flaming death trap that was now the forest. It looked around with its adorable, beady eyes, sat on its haunches and started grooming its ears without a care in the world. "How did I get here? My planet went BOOM and I didn't have anything to do with it!" Richard sounded more disappointed than trying to defend himself. "I like making things go boom. Ever seen a head explode? Oh it's such fun."

Ah, nostalgia. The days when he was the all powerful Lord of the Dance with no one to oppose him. Now the warlock was a pawn on a chessboard but this one broke the rules.

This forest wasn't burning fast enough.

"I need to burn down a village. Have you seen one? Particularly filled with innocent people?"